Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

NorthEastPhilly’sPhinest: "Noticed once I got into work that I have orange spots on my scalp. Coworkers described it as looking like I had gotten jabbed repeatedly in the head with a highlighter. I can’t figure out if its dried alcohol or if it has more to do with the sulfur clouds from fireworks lit way too close to drunken mobs. My hair smells like ass from pretty much getting beer bathed. Half my cheerleading team saw their coaches stumbling out of the bar. I’m a good role model. I’m wearing yesterday’s work pants, for over 24 hours straight now, even though they they have a big hole in the crotch which I only noticed about an hour after arriving to work. Woke up at this guys house at 8:30, having to be at my hour-away work at 9. Called my mom, who works with me, and luckily who hadn’t left for work yet. Said grab me a shirt, toothbrush, and a headband, I’ll get the coffee, and I’ll meet you at work. It’s gonna be a long day. You stay classy, Philadelphia."


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