The NFL quarterback wedding season is officially upon us, America, and for that, we are thankful — because the quarterbacks in question keep making embarrassing documentation of their weddings available to the general public. First, there was Mr. and Mrs. Flacco in formation, and today, we present the premiere of the trailer for Tony Romo's wedding to Candice Crawford, a television reporter and former Miss USA contestant.
A few disjointed thoughts about the three-minute teaser, because — even though it has an impressive production value and lots of pretty sparkly confetti — I've watched it twice now and I never want to watch it again. The most glaring one: Tony Romo's wedding videographer has something in common with freshman high school girls everywhere, and that is the audacity to use Coldplay's "Fix You" without irony. Also, Romo's statement that he "has always dreamed" of what his wife would look like is, in context, one of the least-romantic or surprising things any man has ever said in his wedding vows (Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C, Exhibit Finally).
And finally, part of getting married means having someone blow concentrated air at your eyebrows for a while. So be prepared for that, all my single ladies.
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Earlier: Joe Flacco's New Bride Is A Very Understanding Woman