Oh Look, The X-Games Are On

So ESPN is still putting on this thing? I hope they're still giving the Great Outdoor Games a run for their ratings. Just kidding,* I'm actually totally transfixed by a dramatic video currently up on the X-Games site.

What does the Vatican want with Michael Phelps when this Brazilian chick Maya is flirting with death and mastering the circadian rhythms of the universe and emerging from all of it looking like Gisele and sounding like someone whose sole life achievement was finding a steady Oxycontin hookup? Seriously, I don't know if "extreme sports" are any more popular in the ratings than they were when last I checked; they seem a little too individualistic for the present zeitgeist but that means nothing, the real truth is that no one watches them on TV because they make kids want to kill themselves trying stupid stunts and old folks want to kill themselves for wasting their lives, the end.

*Ha ha, "like Jason" is what I thought while writing that. I figure I should probably make any sports reference I can actually think of even if it is embarrassingly a seven-year-old Nelly song.