Old Track Coaches Don't Die ... But They Don't Fade Away Either

Among the countless reasons why you shouldn't pursue a career in sports: The sports pages will always consider what you do news, even if you haven't worked in sports in years and find yourself arrested for something that has nothing to do with sports. Once a news item, always a news item.

Pity, then, poor Lawrence Michael "Poppy" Vincent, a former track coach in the San Antonio area who is now just a sad, confused, horny old man.

The report states Vincent was spotted near his car in a wooded area of McAllister Park holding a bible. He reportedly made conversation with an undercover officer before trying to rub against him . Vincent was arrested just before 4 p.m., after pulling down his pants and revealing a pair of floral panties. The encounter escalated when Vincent exposed himself.

Vincent had actually still been coaching part-time at the Bracken Christian School, but he was fired yesterday morning. We are curious the substance of those track uniforms.

Ex-Track Coach Charged With Indecent Exposure [My San Antonio]