Olympics Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Queen Quedith Earth Harrison Is Beijing Bound
Meet one of the youngest members of the U.S. Olympic track and field team; Virginia Tech's Queen Quedith Earth Harrison. In addition to being a talented runner and having a name that sings, the 19-year-old has another thing going for her: A large rooting section. Harrison has 22 brothers and sisters...

Old People, Keeping The Streets Of London Safe
Now we know where Simeon Williamson — Britain's best hope for a medal in the 100-meter dash now that Dwain Chambers has been banned for doping — got his speed. His grandmother, 78-year-old Pearline Williamson, ran down a mugger in North London after her purse was snatched....

Apparently Someone Named Tyson Homosexual Is Very Fast
OutSports comes up with this bit of news this morning: Tyson Gay, who ran the fastest recorded time in history in the 100 meters on Sunday, was referred to as Tyson Homosexual in several headlines on the site OneNewsNow; which is run by the extreme right-wing American Family Association in Tupelo, M...

Passersby Were Amazed By The Unusually Large Amounts Of Blood
This bloodied but unbowed runner is Alicia Follmar of Stanford, who took a spill at the start of the women's distance medley at the prestigious Penn Relays. She quickly recovered and managed to finish third....


This Should Really Happen More Often ...
Javelin Horror Overshadows Meeting [Sporting Life]...

Way Less Charming Than Harold And Maude
There's a lot of track and field on TV today, but it's the boring kind. It's the kind where the female athletes are older than 16, and they aren't married to their 40-year-old track coaches. But don't worry, we've got that covered, too....

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
1:00, NFL Europa Football. World Bowl XV. 2:00, ESPN2. LPGA Golf. Wegmen's LPGA, Third Round. 2:00, NBC. Track and Field. AT&T U.S. Outdoor Championships. 3:00, ESPNU. High School Football. Belle Glades Central (Fla.) vs. Byrnes (S.C.) 3:00, NBC. World Series of Golf. 3:00, CBS. PGA Golf. Travelers ...

I Got Nuttin But Love For You, Baby
I was planning on posting pics of Josh Scobee's shaved scrotum and Dwyane Wade's right-ass cheek, but The Mighty MJD sort of beat me to it. Instead, I offer this odd little video of Track and Field asses set to the musical beats of Heavy D & the Boyz's Nuttin But Love....

Please Do Not Reveal The Surprise Ending Of The Asian Games
You know that Indian athlete whom you thought had won the women's silver medal in the 800 meters at the Asian Games? The one you kind of have a crush on? Well, how can we put this delicately? She actually keeps her toilet seat in the locked and upright position. Um, she never saw Steel Magnolias, ...

God, The Full Monty, And You
In Western religion, most of us figure that God has already seen us naked on multiple occasions. And he ain't that impressed. Just look at Exodus 19:21 for proof: "And the Lord said unto Moses, Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the Lord to gaze, and many of them perish. But ...

Watch Your Beer Around Carl Lewis
The first time we ever remember hearing about steroids, as far as we can recollect, was Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson, a guilty finding made all the more hilarious because he's Canadian. (Kind of.) Well, over the weekend, Johnson revealed that he has finally, 18 years later, figured out who famously...

You Know What's Funny? She's Actually The Swimming Judge
Life as a judge in the javelin toss ain't so easy ... there is, for example, the whole issue of being hit with a javelin....

Urine Taints Marion Jones' EPO Sample
The Washington Post is reporting that Marion Jones failed a drug test at the U.S. nationals earlier this year. The test turned up a little erythropoietin, or EPO, as the cool kids call it. If her 'B' sample turns up the same thing, she's looking at a two-year ban. I'll give you a few minutes to reco...

Americans Continue To Lead The World In Mysteriously Tainted Urine
The world's fastest man, Justin Gatlin, has failed a pee-pee test, and, stop me if you've heard this before, claims he didn't do anything wrong. Both his 'A' and 'B' samples came up positive for unusually high amounts of synthetic testosterone....

Carl Lewis Cordially Invites You To Tell Him How Great He Is
Ah, Carl Lewis. Where would we be without his dulcet tones? We'd be awfully sad, that's what....

This Is Why Everyone Needs To Synchronize Their Swatches
In Paris, earlier today (or yesterday, or whatever that time difference is), the IAAF — perhaps the most useless acronym in sports; it stands for International Association of Athletics Federations, which is kind like saying you have a Collection of Associated Alliances — announced that sprinter Ju...

Justin Gatlin Can Haul
By no stretch of the imagination could I be considered a fan of track and field. Sure, every four years, I'll pay it some mind, but other than that, it's a little off the radar. But when a man breaks the world record by running 100 meters in 9.76 seconds, well, that'll grab your attention. Americ...

Rocky Mountain Low
Those of you following the Colorado racist email story — essentially, a football player and his cross-country running girlfriend sent a nasty racist email to Latino cross-country runner Greg Castro — probably already know that the football player Clint O'Neal and his girlfriend Jackie Zeigle have ...