Parents Sentence Son To Lifetime Of Ass-Kickings

As The Mighty MJD mentioned on Sunday, Leann and Rusty Real of D'Iberville, Miss., have named their kid ESPN Montana Real. That's pronounced "Espen," as in, "Mrs. Johnson! The other boys have run Espen's pants up the flagpole again!"

We were the talk of the hospital," Rusty Real said. "The nurses kept asking my wife if she was really going to let her husband name him ESPN. She said, 'Oh, yes.'

Yes, the talk of the hospital now, but parents like these never seem to grasp the big picture. Like, what if 12 years down the road the kid happens to suck at sports? What trama will be induced when, while at the free throw line in the big high school game, the opposing team's fans start chanting the ESPN theme? And what if, God forbid, he actually ends up resembling Chris Berman? In fact, there's always the outside chance ... naw, forget it. Berman's never even been to Mississippi.

Actually the whole thing could have been a lot worse. His middle name could have been "Mobile."

Parents Name Baby After ESPN, Joe Montana [MSNBC]