Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Patrick Kane Is Just A Cool Bro Chilling In A Post-Apocalyptic Hell-Earth

In the wake of the lockout, NHL stars Tyler Seguin and Patrick Kane signed on with Switzerland's EHC Biel. They arrived too late for player photo day, however, which was apparently "no shirts, battle axe optional."


Biel's ridiculous player photos, undoubtedly done by a professional studio with access to a green screen and lighting equipment, portray the players as hardened warriors on judgement day. Kane's photo is just a regular picture of him in his new jersey, probably taken in an arena with a basic digital camera. Not wanting to break with the theme, though, Kane has been poorly superimposed on the ominous orange sky backdrop. Look at the fool, smiling, blithely unaware he's about to be crudely photoshopped into HELL EARTH!

I don't know what's funnier: Kane's photo or the website's full-sized background images. "Ja, hold die axes a little higher...und smile big...genau."


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