Image: NBC

The NFL is back, and we already have our biggest storyline of the season: Who said “I never had my butt fingered” on the NBC broadcast of the season’s opening Packers-Bears game?

Presumably, this was a microphone picking up a conversation between two players on the sideline talking about what terrible things linemen do to each other in the trenches on punts. Or maybe someone just had a really interesting first date near NBC’s microphones.