Popcorn Toppings, Ranked

Popcorn is good and good for you (probably; it’s a plant), and its greatest feature is its chameleon-like ability to be topped by whatever quasi-liquid or slush-based substance you have lying around. “But, I have so many possible toppings in my cupboard and/or well-stocked fridge?” you might ask, “Which one do I pick?” Well.

Salt and butter

Sriracha

Cinnamon sugar

Furikake

Garlic salt

Carmel

Old Bay

Chili powder

Cheese, solid-based

“Kettle”

Soy sauce

Red pepper flakes

Cheese, dust-based

Lemon pepper

Other citrusy substances (lime juice, et. al)

Candy, general

Green herbs and shit like dill or whatever

MSG

Chocolate sauce

Getting hit by a car

Nutritional yeast

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