Portland's Quipster Cop: Lightsaber Edition

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We first met officer Pete Simpson a few weeks ago when he was cracking wise about Ndamukong Suh's driving style. Officer Simpson is back in the news following a (possibly mentally ill) prospective Jedi, elegantly—and not at all clumsily or randomly—got nuts in a Toys R Us with a lightsaber. After assaulting three customers, the police were finally called.

Officers arrived and attempted to take the suspect into custody but he continued to swing the light saber and was yelling incoherent statements. One officer attempted to use a Taser but it was ineffective. A second officer used a Taser which made good contact but the suspect used the light saber to break one of the wires. Officers then were able to grab onto the suspect and take him to the ground and place him into custody as he continued to violently struggle and yell incoherent statements.


The Force appears to be strong with this one but on what side, officer Pete Simpson? "It was a 'blue' lightsaber, which, as I recall is, favored by those in the Rebel Alliance."

Oh Officer Pete Simpson, If I ever see you down at the Cantina, space beers are on me.


h/t Ryan
Portland Police Respond to Call of Raging Jedi Swinging Lightsaber [The Portland Mercury]