Here, courtesy of me, is the tracklisting for Prince’s hypothetical basketball album, hopefully coming to you as soon as he finishes making his teammates pancakes:

  1. “Ref Controversy”
  2. “Patty, Talk to Popovich”
  3. “Jack U Up”
  4. “Play on the Suns”
  5. “The Ballad of Tony Parker”
  6. “Starbury and Vaseline”
  7. “If I Was Your Point Guard”
  8. “Gett Off (The Bench)“
  9. “Anotherjumperholenyohead (JR Smith Remix)“
  10. “Sometimes We’re Home In April”
  11. “All The Statheads Love You In New York”
  12. “When Love Cries”
  13. “I Could Never Take the Place of Our Power Forward”
  14. “Big Baby Is A Star”
  15. “Yellow and Purple Reign”

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this post incorrectly identified the picture as Prince in high school; it’s actually from when he was in middle school.