Prop bet season is here: Wacky Super Bowl wagers for you to lose some money

As legal gambling spreads further across the country, the Super Bowl is bigger than ever for betting, and of course that doesn’t just mean betting on whether the Rams cover the 4-point spread.

Super Bowl time is prop bet time, from classic wagers surrounding the game, to more exotic possibilities designed to lure you in.

Should you actually make prop bets? Probably not. The straightforward line and the over/under are set with odds to ensure the sportsbooks come out ahead, but when it comes to some of the prop bets, the odds are set so that they really come out ahead. So, as always, these prop bets are for entertainment purposes only.

The fairest bet on the board, all things considered. The odds for each side of the coin flip are -105, meaning you need to bet $1.05 to win a dollar — the nickels coming in on each side representing the house’s cut, also known as the vig.

Last year, it was heads for the third time in the last four Super Bowls. Before that, there was a four-year tails streak. Before that, it was heads for six out of seven years. Tails has a 29-26 all-time lead. None of this means anything, because the next one is 50-50.

The other classic Super Bowl prop bet is the length of the national anthem. The over/under for Mickey Guyton is set at 1:38 this year, but that’s not all you can bet on when it comes to the Star-Spangled Banner, somehow.

an online sportsbook has odds on whether Guyton will show cleavage during her performance (Yes is the favorite at -155), whether she’ll forget a word (Yes is 15-2, No is 1-18), plus which coach and which quarterback will be shown first (Sean McVay is favored over Zac Taylor, Joe Burrow is slightly favored over Matthew Stafford).

This seems like a ripe opportunity for an NBC producer to make bank, and really good for them if they do, because this is truly deranged stuff to bet on.

If you miss the anthem and the coin toss, there’s still the first play to get all your money-losing out of the way quickly.

At bet365, the odds are 2-3 for the first offensive play of the game being a run, and 6-5 for a pass. Make sure you’re not dipping a chip after the opening kickoff, or you’ll miss it.

The prop board at an online sportsbook is loaded with all sorts of potential wagers, from whether QuickBooks or Taco Bell’s ad will air first, to whether Matt Damon will feature in a crypto spot, to whether a rocket, the moon, an astronaut, or an alien will appear first in any commercial.

The best of these oddball bets, though? To Be Said First In Michelob Ultra Commercial. Dude is at -200. Jesus is at +150. Something about betting on Jesus as an underdog on Sunday…

an online sportsbook has another cleavage bet on Mary J. Blige for the halftime show, but far more interesting is this question: Eminem To Wear On His Head At Halftime Appearance?

Nothing +150 Hat +200 Hood +250 Do Rag or Bandana +275

Perhaps an easier choice is the Yes/No (Yes is favored) on whether any of Eminem’s performance will be censored.

Nearly impossible is picking the color of Snoop Dogg’s shoes. Blue is favored at 5-2, with odds running up to 16-1 for pink. Is gray/silver a value choice at 6-1? Absolutely not, seek professional help.

The Super Bowl, believe it or not, is not the only sporting event on Sunday. The NBA and NHL have games, and unfortunately, some of the lines were set too soon.

Domantas Sabonis assists vs. Tee Higgins receptions had to come off the board because Sabonis was traded to Sacramento. Still, an online sportsbook offers this toss-up, at -115 each: Alex Ovechkin goals or Matthew Stafford interceptions. Ovechkin just had COVID, but the Capitals are playing against Ottawa, so… no, no, no, no, do not get roped into this.

Also available is D’Angelo Russell’s combined points, rebounds, and assists for the Timberwolves against Sabonis’ former Indiana teammates, or the yardage of Cooper Kupp’s longest reception. You have no idea whatsoever.

But nobody is topping Caesars when it comes to ludicrous, as one of their available bets is What Will Be More? Yards of the longest quarterback rush at the Super Bowl… or total corner kicks in the Leicester-West Ham game.

MGM is offering 50-1 odds on Yes, and this is the prime example of the sportsbook separating fools from their money. There have been nine safeties in Super Bowl history, most recently the bad snap on the Broncos’ first offensive play of Super Bowl XLVIII in New Jersey.

Not only has there never been a Super Bowl with more than one safety, both teams recording a safety in a single game has happened nine times in NFL history. Somehow, one of those nine was on October 22, 1972, when the Rams beat the Bengals, 15-12, in Los Angeles. Check out the highlights of that one, and hope that this game isn’t so ugly, but has just as much drama.

Have you ever entered a box pool and come out with just the worst possible combination of numbers? Caesars is offering odds on combinations of the last digits of the final score, with odds ranging from 22-1 for Rams 7, Bengals 0, to 250-1 for both teams finishing with a score ending in 2.

It is 2022, so maybe that’s a sign? Maybe not.

They put the foot in football, and it’s time that punters got their respect from the gambling community.

The Rams are +100 at DraftKings to punt first, with the Bengals favored at -130. But Cincinnati is also favored to have the longest punt, at -115 for Kevin Huber compared to -105 for the Rams’ Johnny Hekker.

That might be a folly by the oddsmakers. Hekker was a legitimate candidate for MVP had the Rams won the Super Bowl three years ago, with nine punts for a 46.3-yard average, including the longest punt in Super Bowl history, a 65-yard boot.

You can already bet on the winner of Super Bowl LVII, before we’re even done with Super Bowl LVI.

Kansas City and Buffalo, who staged a classic in this year’s AFC divisional playoff, are co-favorites at 7-1 on FanDuel’s line, with the Rams at 12-1, tied with the Cowboys (really?) as NFC co-favorites. The Bengals are down at 19-1 to come back to the Big Game and win it, while the Jets are 150-1. Surely there is a better use of your money than betting on the Jets.