Raiders’ Black Hole gets makeover with literal Las Vegas club seating

There’s nothing quite like going to the most expensive club in town at 1pm on a Sunday afternoon, amirite? 

Well, actually I wouldn’t know. You probably wouldn’t either. But if you’re someone looking for an excuse to overpay for bottle service in an NFL endzone, and you want private DJs to add to the stadium noise so you can TALK TO YOUR NEIGHBOR DIRECTLY INTO THEIR EAR, look no further than the Raiders new set up in Vegas — Vegas, baby!

You: “ISN’T THIS NEW IDEA GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN?!?”

Your conscience: “WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU.”

You: [Wipes nose with forearm]

Don’t get me wrong, it looks pretty cool. I’d go (for free) if invited. And, relax: I’m sure the DJs won’t blast your eardrums for three hours straight.

[Ed. note: TIL there are hours-long club noise simulator videos on YouTube… the internet, man — RO] 

But if the DJ is of that mind, you better not arrive hung over. Then again… if you’re not hungover well into Sunday afternoon, are you even in Vegas?

Also, 42 TV’s? Really? I know we’re in the golden age of television, but there just can’t possibly be that much content out there you’d want to watch while watching a game. I get the need for a few screens of RedZone, the other games, maybe an October baseball matchup if the timing is right… But this is edging on sports bar territory.

The concept is just the latest stadium feature that’s not a part of the usual arena experience. The Jaguars have a pool and a dog park in Jacksonville, the Rays have actual Rays you can pet in their dump of a dome, the Braves have a zipline in their new ballpark… I could go on and on.

Of course, actually watching the game live and in person is probably not why you’ll break the bank for these literal club seats. But hey, you wanted a show. And if you’re in this lounge, you’ll get to be part of the circus.