Report: Miserable Old Man Michael Jordan Wants A Private Golf Course

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According to a report from, Michael Jordan, who has now apparently reached the Old-Man-Potter stage of his life, is considering building his very own golf course in Florida because the country club that he frequents is no longer living up to his standards.

Sources close to Jordan told that the prospective course would be very exclusive, and that its members would be handpicked by Jordan himself. Of course, this all being considered for very Jordan-esque reasons:

Sources say that Jordan's course ambitions have been fueled in part by his dissatisfaction with goings-on at the Bear's Club, the Jupiter club where MJ is a member and owns a lavish home.

Those sources say that Jordan has grown frustrated with pace of play at the club.

"Michael likes to play fast and he can't stand it when people won't let him through," said a golf-industry insider who knows Jordan and who has spoken with several Bear's Club's members. "That happens enough out there that he's gotten fed up."

According to the same source, who requested anonymity, Jordan has secured the option on a plot of land in nearby Hobe Sound, just south of the luxe Medalist Golf Club, which counts Tiger Woods and Rickie Fowler among its members.


I hope this really happens, just so that Michael Jordan will one day have to sit down to write out a list of people he'd like to invite to his country club, realize that he actually doesn't like another single human being, and then smile to himself upon realizing that all his life's ambitions have finally been achieved.