Rich People Are Using Cryotherapy To Freeze Themselves Skinny

Illustration for article titled Rich People Are Using Cryotherapy To Freeze Themselves Skinny

If I told you you could stand in a tube of cold air for a few minutes to lose weight and be in the best shape of your life would you do it? Are you a rich dummy? Did you answer “yes” to both of the previous questions? Then allow me to introduce you to cryotherapy, a new sci-fi method of freezing off calories and melting down into the best shape of your life.


From the New York Post:

During the three-minute sessions, clients are placed in a 6-foot-tall tubular machine pumping out air hovering between an icy minus 184 and minus 292 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s the treatment du jour for people who want to boost their metabolism, loosen their muscles, flatten their stomachs, reduce cellulite and allegedly burn up to 800 calories without moving a muscle.

You spend a couple of minutes shivering uncontrollably in arctic temps and you come out one step closer to a body like Cristiano Ronaldo, who actually happens to have a cryo chamber in his own house. Cryotherapy is not new to elite athletes—it’s common to use the therapy to recovery quickly from injuries. But it’s just now catching on among the rich and lazy. Manhattan’s KryoLife, which offers one three minute session for $90 or 10 for $700, recommends you go with the 10 (at least) treatments, by the way.

Quite frankly, Cyrotherapy sounds like a lazy way to lose weight for insanely rich idiots who don’t have time to do it the healthy way but do have the earnest gullibility of the same people who buy their fitness trends from informercials. But, hey, Demi Moore uses it to keep from aging, and Lindsay Lohan posts about it a lot on her Instagram. Alleged benefits include boosted metabolism, better skin, pain relief and recovery from injuries, muscle toning, increased endorphins, and a better outlook on your shitty life.

Anyway, the point is, although these therapies seem cool and shiny and expensive, working out and eating well will probably do you just fine. You know what they say! If it’s good enough for Lindsay Lohan, actually nevermind.


Image via Getty