The Wolfman Rob Ryan is a lot of things—a brewski stacker, a dancer, a saunterer, a bon vivant—but he is not a man who can abide shoddy craftsmanship. This is why he has filed a lawsuit against the people who built his house, because Ryan’s palace is, apparently, sinking into the ground.

The New Orleans Times-Picayune has the details:

The ground, the lawsuit claims, is shifting badly beneath Ryan’s house, which wasn’t built on pilings or sufficiently spaced footings despite New Orleans’ notoriously soft soils, according to the document filed in Orleans Parish District Court. An engineer hired by the Ryans determined that key joists throughout the house also are overloaded.

It’s not clear how much Ryan is suing for, although I assume it is at least enough to cover the cost of the sweet fuckin’ wet bar—complete with beer fridge, dart board, and “Rob’s Place” neon bar sign—that I can only assume was installed in the basement, but is now sinking into the New Orleans swamp.

Hey, can anyone involved in this case supply us with a dopey football analogy?

“The builders fumbled the ball,” said Randy Smith, Ryan’s attorney. “And Rob Ryan, of all people, is not going to let it just sit on the ground.”

Hell yeah. Randy Smith also happens to be the lawyer who represented Saints owner Tom Benson’s estranged family when they attempted to wrest control of the team via a lawsuit claiming that Benson is a mentally feeble old man being manipulated by his wife. The developers Ryan is suing see Smith’s involvement as a red flag:

“It is unbelievable that Rob Ryan would choose to work with the same attorney that is attempting to discredit the owner of the Saints,” MacPhaille said in a written statement sent through his spokesman Stephen Schulkens.

“In true fashion, attorney Randy Smith has filed a lawsuit full of exaggerations, fairy tales and outright misrepresentations in order to paint Rob Ryan as a victim,” MacPhaille’s statement said.

Burn. Anyway, this is what Rob Ryan’s house looks like:

Cool house. Too bad it’s probably sinking.

[Times-Picayune]

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