Black Friday Is Almost Here!
The Inventory team is rounding up deals you don’t want to miss, now through Cyber Monday. Click here to browse!
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Ronaldo Shills Bullshit Workout Contraption In Ridiculous Commercial

I’m not saying Cristiano Ronaldo is a cyborg, and if he is he’s probably a benevolent one, but if this wild commercial for some weird, obviously scammy Japanese “exercise gear” isn’t really a behind-the-scenes look at Ronaldo’s morning boot-up process, I’ll buy this stuff and have a six pack in no time.

Advertisement

Look upon the specimen, as his CPU whirs to life and stirs his Sight Modules:

Advertisement

Look upon the specimen, as his synthetic Midsection Levers are primed for the day’s work:

Look upon the specimen, now at full operating capacity, pleased at the state of his taut and toned Midsection Levers:

Advertisement

Look upon the specimen’s Companion Bot, who too must be roused from hibernation:

Advertisement

This commercial could easily double as a sort of prequel to Roy and Pris’s ransacking of Sebastian’s apartment in Blade Runner, and at any rate, I now want buy these little things and join the revolution. The Body Revolution.

[101 Great Goals]

Advertisement

Share This Story

Get our newsletter