Cheese & Crackers very nearly pulled off a huge upset. The 8-seed, matched up against football snack staple Nacho Cheese Doritos, was almost left off the bracket entirely because your bracketeer thought it perhaps a touch too bougie for this exercise. Which is insane, when you consider that the same bracketeer included 'crudités' and didn't think to offer a definition of same. (Celery sticks, basically.)
Sanity is not this bracketeer's strong suit.
Those of you who were too blinded with "WHERE ARE THE PIZZA ROLLS/WINGS/CHILI???" rage to get mad about crudités, fret not: Next year's bracket will be devoted to the more substantial Super Bowl foodstuffs. Those of you wondering where the God damned queso is, it's right here in last year's bracket, which was devoted entirely to dip. Those of you who are still so mad (SO MAD!!!) about tzatziki, please know that I love you most of all.
With that, your Round 2 match-ups are:
Art by Jim Cooke and Tara Jacoby