Russia Topple Spain In Penalties, Puke Puke Puke

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Fraud-ass Spain lost in penalties to rigged-ass Russia Sunday in a match that was an exercise in pure teeth-grinding frustration. Spain dominated possession but were the very worst version of their pass-happy selves, noodling around in the midfield and the attacking third but failing to play with any urgency whatsoever until late in the second extra period.

Spain scored early off a Marco Asensio free kick that bounced in off of Russian defender Sergei Ignashevich, who was engaged in a mutual takedown with Sergio Ramos on the back post. It was ugly and dumb, in a match that was ugly and dumb right up until it was over.


Russia had its lone spell of good possession later in the first half, culminating in a Gerard Piqué handball off a Russia corner that led to a penalty:


The second half was dreary and pointless, with Spain owning possession and stringing together long sequences of relatively aimless possession, and Russia very occasionally leaking out for uninspiring counterattacks. This pattern continued until about the 110th minute, in the second extra period, when Spain finally, finally started playing with a little urgency and aggression. There was about a 10 minute period of tense, exciting soccer, and then the otherwise dumbass game went to penalties, truly the dumbest and most shameful finale of all:


So Spain are done, like the frauds they now undeniably are, and Russia are through. Yuck.