Sam Darnold Spleen Update: I Want To Live

Bad news, Jets fans: Sam Darnold is officially out for Sunday’s game against the Eagles. The team gave Darnold reps in practice this week, but in the end that pesky, mononucleosis-bloated spleen of his just would not cooperate. The initial prognosis warned it might be as long as six weeks before Darnold could handle contact again, and yet Friday’s update still appears to have registered as something of a shock to the Jets:

It was made clear this week that Darnold’s status for Sunday would come down to the spleen, which if it is still bloated with smooch juice would leave Darnold vulnerable to catastrophe, however well he might otherwise feel. Darnold didn’t sound real confident about the condition of his spleen when asked about it Thursday, but was quite clear on his preference for continuing to live:

Millennial prima donnas, am I right? Jets head coach Adam Gase assured fans that Darnold did “everything he could” to get himself in shape to play this weekend, but it’s like the old saying goes: you can lead a spleen to a football field, but you can’t make it not explode.