Last night, as the Boston Celtics led the Orlando Magic 117-86 with 5:20 to go, they summoned Tacko Fall to help “seal” the game. And 73 seconds later, he shook the shit out of fellow (but not nearly quite as tall) center Mo Bamba with the biggest Dream Shake we’ve ever seen.
You knew the forthcoming ass-whooping was premeditated because Fall’s 7-foot-5 self received the ball inside the paint from Semi Ojeleye and took two dribbles out to nearly the three-point line. Fall, still dribbling, turned and stared at the 7-foot Bamba, to the delight of the (extremely) nearby Celtics bench, who stood in awe and anticipation of whatever the fuck Fall was about to do. Fall crossed over between the legs [!!] and penetrated into the paint, which Carsen Edwards nearly disrupted by actually trying to play good team basketball and cut through the lane. (Now is not the time for your fundamentally fucking sound motion offense, Carsen.)
Fall faked, turned, faked again, stepped around Bamba, and with his 7-foot-10 wingspan, finger rolled it in as an imaginary harp played in the background. Really in the background were his Celtics teammates damn near partying on the sidelines. Kemba Walker hugged Jayson Tatum so tightly that they also looked each other in the eyes.
(Do we call it the Dream Shake, still, instead of the Tacko Truck? Do we now call him Hakeem O-Tacko-won? Never mind.)
Those were the only two points Fall scored in the game, but in the five minutes he played, he also blocked four [!!] shots and pulled down three rebounds.