Serena Rampages Through Australia

Playing like a slightly more masculine version of Roger Federer, Serena Williams spanked Maria Sharapova in the finals of the Australian Open yesterday, winning 6-1, 6-2. It is the third biggest upset in Australian Open history, sort of. Serena came into the tournament ranked 81st in the world. Turns out, her ranking was slightly misleading. Sharapova called her "flawless."

"It was an awesome win, because I had so many critics. So many people ... saying negative things," Williams said. "Saying I wasn't fit, when I felt that I was really fit, and I could last three sets.

"It's always like, tell me no and I'll show you that I can do it. I get the greatest satisfaction just holding up the Grand Slam trophy and proving everyone wrong."

I see she's going through her "Patriot" phase.

This is all very bad news for every other female on the planet who thinks they can play tennis. Serena missed almost all of last year with a knee injury, and had just three competitive matches under her belt before mowing through a major championship like Maurice Clarett goes through the cookies in the commissary.