Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Shannon Sharpe Says What We Were All Thinking: Jared Kushner Is an Incompetent Ass Bag

Shannon Sharpe needs to call for the national guard again.
Shannon Sharpe needs to call for the national guard again.
Photo: Getty

Can we put Shannon Sharpe in charge of the national pandemic response? No, he doesn’t have any qualifications for the job, but neither does Jared Kushner.

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He does seem to have a very underrated quality, that Kushner and seemingly everyone else in the White House lacks: common sense.

The Hall of Fame tight end and co-host of “Skip and Shannon: Undisputed” retweeted a news report of President Trump’s son-in-law saying, “The notion of federal stockpiles was it’s supposed to be our stockpile. It’s not supposed to be states’ stockpiles that they then use.”

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Say what?

Even for a Trump family member, the audacity required to utter such bullshit is remarkable. Sharpe replied:

It’s no surprise that this administration is playing games with much-needed life-saving equipment. Time seems to move strangely while suffering the monotony of weeks-long quarantine, but it was only last week that Trump said governors would only get help if they were nice to him.

“It’s a two-way street,” the Orange Idiot in Chief said. “They can’t say, ‘Oh, gee, we should get this, we should get that.”

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Trump relies on Kushner, who has no government experience, as his go-to guy. But as

Michelle Goldberg states in the N.Y. Times: “Kushner has succeeded at exactly three things in his life. He was born to the right parents, married well and learned how to influence his father-in-law. Most of his other endeavors — his biggest real estate deal, his foray into newspaper ownership, his attempt to broker a peace deal between the Israelis and the Palestinians — have been failures.”

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Another way to describe Kushner would be to quote a phrase commonly attributed to former Texas Governor Ann Richards (referring to George W. Bush) and oft-repeated by sports columnist Mike Lupica: “He was born on third base and thought he hit a triple.”

(Other sources credit the quote to columnist Jim Hightower and political humorist Molly Ivins, but it appears Barry Switzer is the first to have uttered it, in 1986. But hey, thanks to Trump we’re in a post-truth society now anyway, so credit who you’d like.)

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If you want to learn more about Kushner’s greed and disregard for the unwashed masses, check out season 2, episode 3 of the Netflix series “Dirty Money.” The episode is called “Slumlord Millionaire.”

In a followup tweet, he responded to a follower by saying, “Why da FCK are we paying federal taxes then?” Good question.

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If Sharpe has a direct line to the White House, as when he pretended to call President Clinton to call in the national guard during a drubbing of the Patriots, perhaps he needs to find that Rolodex and make another call.

When asked what he would do differently, Sharpe said, “I would have listened when I was briefed on this possible pandemic and not gotten rid of pandemic response team, for starters.”

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Get this man a federal job.

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