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We are but nine days away from the launch of NBA "analyst" Stephen A. Smith's "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith," the new live-studio chat show, or, as we like to call it, "What The Hell Is Wrong With The Treble On This Television?" Smith, whose wide-eyed stare straight into the camera makes us think a little part of us is dying every second, has parlayed his NBA schtick into the rarified air once occupied by Jay Mohr and Max Kellerman.

ESPN executive vice president Mark "You Know Eventually We're Just Going To Kill Someone On Air, Right?" Shapiro has called Smith "one of the most dynamic voices in sports journalism today, which is kind of like calling the BTK killer one of the more dynamic voices in social interaction. But hey. Someone must like this, right?

Brace Yourself, Fans [JSOnline.com]