Because no one reads the newspaper and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

* Tony Romo may or may not have had a guy's day out with the brother of his current girlfriend who is also the ex-boyfriend of his ex-girlfriend, but who is definitely the pretty boy on that one show. I'm not sure how, but this will definitely cost Dallas a playoff game. [Dallas Observer]

* I include this story about Michigan's Boubacar Cissoko not to gloat, but because it's truly fascinating to wonder how a guy goes from starting cornerback to convicted armed robber in six months. (Unless you think it makes Rich Rodriguez look bad, in which case, feel the gloat.) [Detroit News]

* The DEA has issued 10 search warrants on physicians and pharmacies "affiliated" with the Padres and Chargers. My suspicion? Illicit DayQuil ring.[LA Times]


* Paul Pierce joins the free agent parade that I am so fortunate to not be able to write about in two days time. [Boston Globe]

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No soccer for two days? What will America's day drinkers do with themselves? See you bozos at 2:00 ....