Soccer Page 162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Aw nuts, Man United might have figured it out
We should have enjoyed it more, if it is indeed over: the period of time where Manchester United couldn’t stop tripping over its own dick, burned through name managers simply because they had a name, bought mediocre players for astronomic prices simply to appear to be in action, and generally spun t...
Gabriel Heinze is just as big of a penis as you remember
The lesson for MLS coaches the past couple of weeks is that trying to show your authority by freezing out a star player only ends with your head in the guillotine’s receptacle. Gabriel Heinze was the latest to learn that yesterday....
Would you idiots please stop blighting great soccer matches with your racism?
The Euro Championship did not go England’s way. After two hours of football ended locked in a 1-1 draw, England and Italy squared off in penalty kicks. Italy won after Marcus Rashford hit one off the post, Jadon Sancho’s attempt was stopped, and the final try, taken by 19-year-old Bukayo Saka, was s...
‘It’s Coming Home’... to Rome
With an English twit flying into space this weekend, there was a fleeting memory of a long-ago commercial for British Airways in which Britain had luxury accommodations even on a space station, while an American and a Russian endured cramped quarters and terrible astronaut food in the main cabin of ...
Flying Ant Day 2021: What time is the Euro 2020 Final?
Christmas in July is now firmly enough entrenched in culture that the Hallmark Channel has an annual programming block and movie release based around it. The holiday’s sprawl is massive, claiming an entire summer month to go along with its traditional footprint of December and decades-long encroachm...
England is so money, and they don't even realize it
It could have been Sam Allardyce....
A hearty 'welcome back' to terrible sports fans worldwide
The Three Lions are on to a major tournament championship game for the first time since 1966 after advancing past Denmark in the semifinals of Euro 2020 (2021? Whatever) — but it isn’t without controversy. As team captain Harry Kane stepped up for a penalty kick in extra time, a green laser pointer ...
Messi survives despite it all at the Copa
It’s been weird whenever I check in on Copa America. With the Euros taking place in front of fans and the mess that the Copa was before it even kicked off, it kind of feels like it’s taking place in some sort of dungeon club that you need a password to get into and you have to provide your own leath...
Spain rules the day, but not final result
Spain did just about everything they wanted against Italy. They suffocated Jorginho out of the game, denying all routes to him from the defense and keeping Italy’s attack at bay through a pretty aggressive high press. They kept the ball for most of the game, and didn’t do that usual Spanish thing of...
Nonsensical criticism of USWNT soccer proves right-wing media should hush
It’s getting embarrassing at this point....
The problems with FC Barcelona
With the Euros wrapping up, the next few weeks will be filled with the usual summer madness of transfer stories and players signing here and there or not signing here or there and the rumors that cover both....
Get in the ring
Brazil is going to the semifinals of Copa América after a 1-0 victory over Chile on Friday night, but Gabriel Jesus won’t be....
Megan Rapinoe is not here for your bullsh*t
Update (7/1/21): It has arrived! Check out Megan Rapinoe on The Ladies Room podcast here....
Denmark can absolutely win the whole thing
We’ve reached the quarterfinals of Euro 2020(1), which is when fans of the countries still in contention really start dreaming, and the rest realize that fucking-off-of-work time is probably going to run out with only three Monday-Friday match days left (#DayDrinkingIsForAllSeasons). For the teams t...
France couldn’t just turn it on and off forever
Yesterday, we dove into the very nature of Spain. How its championship pedigree is still around, but how the frustrating, and at times incomprehensible, frailties that surrounded that glorious era are in their DNA, too. And you’ll see all of them in the same match. They can’t help it. It’s who they ...
First it was very much Spain, then it wasn’t, then it was, then it wasn’t, and now we don’t know what to think
I’ve been using the term “Spain’ing” a lot during Euro 2020, harkening back to the era before Spain was drenched in medals, where they would always squander any tournament despite fielding one of the most talented squads. They could find any way to lose back then, whether through simple malaise, or ...
Unai Simón must love baseball, because this is a whiff
Spain benefitted in their last group game from Slovakia’s Martin Dubravka throwing the ball into his own net, so clearly frustrated at Spain’s inability to find the area between the posts that he felt there was no choice but to show them how easy it could be. People in sports love to say these thing...
Mentioning Ronaldo’s past won’t cost you the coverage
It’s easier for me to lower my standards. I’m a cisgender male, and never been sexually assaulted. I shouldn’t, and it’s just the path of lesser resistance, but it happens. So when it comes to coverage from networks or major websites or newspapers of athletes whose involvement in sexual assault is k...
This is why you don’t put too much stock in the group stage
It wasn’t so long ago that the European Championships were kind of perfect, in that it all made sense. Only 16 teams made it, which is just about the same amount of European teams that make the World Cup, so rarely were there true no-hopers in the draw. Four groups of four meant teams couldn’t duck ...
Ted Lasso is the coach we all need that we’ll never see
Richmond AFC coach Ted Lasso and his less-wordy assistant, Coach Beard emerged from their offseason on Wednesday to announce the players named to the U.S. Women’s National Team that will compete for soccer gold in the Olympics this summer in Japan....