Soccer Page 163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
U.S. gets England in World Cup Group Stage
As the United States men’s national team backed into the FIFA World Cup on Wednesday night, Friday’s draw couldn’t have realistically worked out any better for them....
Who are we taking to Qatar?
The USMNT punched their ticket with a true let’s-not-fuck-this-up-royally performance in Costa Rica. So now the attention turns to who are the 23 souls that Gregg Berhalter will be putting on the plane for the tournament. Our intrepid soccer goofuses Sam Fels and Eric Blum have some ideas....
Man gets jail time for racist tweets at Marcus Rashford, humanity rejoices
On the list of things in England that I love, add jailing a racist internet troll for abusing Marcus Rashford next to the Great British Bakeoff, an accent that makes everything sound classy, using holiday as a verb, and Tom Holland. News that Justin Lee Price, 19, of Worcester, will be spending the ...
Roman Abramovich tries to help himself by helping peace negotiations, allegedly gets poisoned
If no good deed goes unpunished, what happens when you perform a good deed from a place of self-interest? Soon-to-be-former owner of Chelsea FC Roman Abramovich found out after he tried to “help” the peace negotiations between Russia and Ukraine....
Is the USMNT midfield better off without Weston McKennie?
On the surface, it’s a patently ridiculous question. Of course the US can’t go without a player who regularly plays for one of the biggest clubs in the world, where his manager loves him, and comes up with goals for a national team that still struggles to find them. And to ask this question after ju...
I want my win in the Azteca, Gregg Berhalter
Right off the bat, I know all the logic the US might keep something in reserve tonight at the Azteca vs. Mexico. The USMNT has not been able to thread the three-matches-in-seven days windows all that well. The Panama game is the real crunch one of the three this time, as a win there basically guaran...
We all know Liverpool can’t win the Quadruple, but what my book presupposes…
To say winning the Quadruple–the League Cup, the FA Cup, the Champions League, and the Premier League–is a dream isn’t accurate. No fan ever really thinks of it before a season starts, or really before even February. It’s beyond fantasy. It’s not something you’d ever give the time of day. Perhaps En...
I MF’d Barcelona
There’s no hiding, not after yesterday. Not after Barcelona, just months ago the biggest figure of fun in world soccer, waltzed into the Bernabeu, and kicked eight different kinds of shit out Madrid to the tune of 4-0. It could have been 8-0 or 10-0. It probably should have been 5-0 or 6-0. This was...
Gregg Berhalter drops the ball on USMNT roster
Expected, disappointing. Two words that best describe my reaction to seeing the United States Men’s National Team’s roster for the final trio of octagonal World Cup Qualifying matches, beginning next week. Outside of the core, can’t-miss players and super-subs, which any soccer fan with a brain coul...
When presented with the lesser of two evils, pray
I’ve never watched 90-Day Fiancé because I’d rather take an eyedropper full of corrosive acid to the iris, but I imagine Chelsea fans are awaiting the sale of their club with the same angst and uncertainty all these 90-Day Fiancé idiots have during their short courtship. (If that’s not how that show...
That was some fiendish Atlético Madrid treachery
You’re not supposed to miss a blister. You’re not supposed to get nostalgic about a paper cut on that webby part between your thumb and forefinger. You shouldn’t smile at stubbing your toe against the bed or couch that causes you to limp for an hour....
Everton can’t really get themselves relegated, can they?
In the previous decade, we could have asked this question about Aston Villa, West Ham, or Newcastle. All of those clubs are of the same size as Everton, all should be comfortably in the second tier of the Premier League behind the big six, if not breaking into the big six themselves. And yet, the la...
U.K. finally gets around to sanctioning Chelsea’s Roman Abramovich
Roman’s got to go. Hand in your keys to the club before you do more damage to those who don’t deserve it. As it turns out, plenty of people who said politics had no place in sports really meant politics that they don’t agree with had no room at the table. Loud banishment of policy came at the inters...
Kylian Mbappé passes the audition but PSG spectacularly fail another test
While the word “narrative” has become something of a cinder block sitting in the intestines of sports, sometimes you just can’t avoid how much it’s beating you over the head. Kylian Mbappé lining up against Real Madrid in the round of 16 in the Champions League was one of those times. Mbappé is stil...
With Weston McKennie done for the season… now what?
For as much excitement as this batch of the USMNT has generated, most of that has been tempered by the fact that A) they’ve rarely actually played all that well together and B) they’ve rarely all been together and in anything near top form. There will be those, the most rose-colored glasses-adorned ...
What is it Manchester United are trying to do?
At the end of Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s run as Manchester United, they got absolutely dog-walked by Liverpool and Manchester City at home. The combined score was 7-1, but no one would have been surprised had it ended up 17-0. Plenty will tell you it should have. Even for the notoriously directionless ye...
Roman Abramovich is getting out of Dodge and he’s going to leave Chelsea behind
Remember when NCAA programs, basketball or football, would impose sanctions on themselves in the hopes it would keep the NCAA’s great wandering eye from looking at them too closely? And then if that didn’t work, the coach would have to fall on his sword? That’s sort of what’s happening with Roman Ab...
Jesse Marsch tries again, this time at Leeds United
You can’t accuse Jesse Marsch of being unambitious. He replaced Julian Nagelsmann at RB Leipzig, and Nagelsmann had only left for Bayern Munich — one of the biggest jobs in the world — and is considered maybe the leading young genius on the European continent (whether this letterman’s jacket is evid...
Oh, damn, MLS started this weekend
Part of it was due to still being on vacation, and the other part was my general obliviousness. But I only realized at the last minute that MLS started its season this weekend, about 12 minutes after the last one ended with NYCFC’s manager in his undies in the rain in Portland, thanks to having to w...