Soccer Page 169 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
FIFA's The Best Awards Are The Worst
In what universe is Marcelo still one of the best defenders in the world? Not in this one, or any other where performances on the field or even the amorphous “club success” criteria apply. The only place where Marcelo could be considered a starter in a world’s best XI is one where nothing matters to...
The Premier League Is Finally As "Bad" As La Liga
It’s more than a little ironic that the definitive proof that the Premier League truly is as comprehensively and inarguably supreme as its fanboys have long contended it to be has come in the exact form many of those same fanboys shitted on Spain for back when La Liga was top dog....
Look At This Butt Goal
Own goals usually leave defenders red-faced, but the cheeks of Sparta Prague defender Michal Sáček’s ass were most likely the redder after his butt scored an own goal in Sunday’s match against Slavia Prague:...
Nutty Blackmail Plot Involves "Well-Known" Premier League Player Jumping Out Hotel Window Mid-Booty Call
When one Premier League player, whose name is being protected by the authorities, walked into Natalie Wood’s hotel room last year and began to undress, he must’ve believed he was only in for another night of fun and sex with the woman for whom he’d been cheating on his partner. Instead, before the p...
FIFA Releases Meaningless Statement Condemning Iran's Ban On Women In Soccer Stadiums
An Iranian woman recently died from from self-inflicted burns after she was arrested for trying to attend a soccer match in the country, and her death has brought renewed scrutiny to Iran’s law that bans women from entering soccer stadiums. FIFA, an organization always eager to do the bare minimum i...
MLS Coach Sues Former Club For Firing Him Over Homophobic Tirade
Following his firing by Real Salt Lake over a homophobic tirade during a match in Utah last month, former coach Mike Petke is now suing the club for $687,500 of lost salary (a season and a half’s worth). The lawsuit, filed in the Third Judicial District Court of Salt Lake County, alleges that the cl...
Zinedine Zidane's Real Madrid Are Already Teetering On The Brink
Zinedine Zidane must have known this time would be harder. The once-former, now-current Real Madrid manager stepped away from the club after winning the 2018 Champions League final—his and the club’s third in a row, and the team’s fourth in five years—just as Cristiano Ronaldo, the key to all that s...
Large Norwegian Teen Has Now Graduated To Crushing Grown Men
Last time we checked in on Erling Braut Håland, the enormous Viking kid had demolished a team of children by scoring nine goals in a single U-20 World Cup match. If you were wondering if the 6-foot-3 teen’s size, strength, and skills would carry over when pitted against adults, the answer is a resou...
Lightning Strikes Jamaican Soccer Field, Sends Three Players To The Hospital
On Monday, a soccer match in Jamaica between Jamaica College and Wolmer’s Boys was suspended in the 84th minute after a bolt of lightning struck the pitch. The bolt’s impact sent several players to the ground, and a total of three players were taken to the hospital in the aftermath. Here’s video of ...
The Battle For Germany's Starting Goalkeeper Spot Is Now Being Waged In Public
Germany have a problem—one many national teams would kill for, but a problem nonetheless. Barcelona goalkeeper Marc-André ter Stegen is one of the very best goalies in the world, and yet he can’t get any gametime for his national team. Manuel Neuer, who not that long ago was handily the game’s singl...
Seattle Sounders Fans Walk Out Of Match Due To MLS Ban Of Protest Signs
Following months of ideological clashing and semantic disagreements on the meaning of the word “political,” the largest Seattle Sounders supporter group took a more disruptive approach to its fight against MLS’s ban on protest signs, represented most clearly by those bearing the Iron Front logo. Aft...
Italian Soccer Pundit Fired For Saying The Only Way To Stop Romelu Lukaku Is To Feed Him 10 Bananas
We’ve always known that Italian soccer has a racism problem, but striker Romelu Lukaku’s arrival in Serie A seems to have encouraged soccer fans and observers in the country to step up and get extra racist. Lukaku first endured monkey chants from Cagliari fans, then his own dumbass fans wrote him a ...
Zlatan Punted Sporting Kansas City Into Orbit With Yet Another Hat Trick
At some point, Zlatan Ibrahimović will wear out his welcome in MLS, but that moment has thankfully not come just yet. Beyond all the shit-talking and dunking on MLS of the likes which we here at Deadspin can only aspire to, Zlatan’s still got it on the field, which must make his shtick easier to tak...
Manchester City Unable To Overcome The Irrepressible Might Of Norwich City
In what could end up being the most stunning upset of season, recently-promoted Norwich City took down defending Premier League champions on Saturday, 3-2. The result came on the back of a stellar performance from Norwich’s Finnish veteran Teemu Pukki and a putrid display from City’s two center halv...
NWSL Bans Utah Royals Fan Who Yelled Racist Slurs At Portland Goalkeeper
The NWSL announced Saturday that a Utah Royals fan has been banned from all games at Utah’s Rio Tinto Stadium and all National Women’s Soccer League games, after the fan yelled racist taunts at the Portland Thorns’ black goalkeeper Adrianna Franch during a Thorns-Royals game earlier this month....
Neymar Scores Acrobatic Stoppage-Time Winner In First Game Back With PSG, Barely Celebrates
Saturday’s Ligue 1 match between Paris Saint-Germain and Strasbourg featured disgruntled Brazilian winger Neymar in the PSG starting lineup for the first time since his transfer request to Barcelona came to an unceremonious end. While it did take the entirety of regulation for him to impact the game...
Portuguese Soccer Teen Absolutely Cooks A Keeper With Filthy Spin Move
If ever a soccer move deserved the Chris Berman “WHOOP!” sound, it’s the perfectly executed spin Francisca Nazareth hit the goalkeeper with before scoring Portugal’s fourth goal in a U19 friendly against Turkey. Rounding the keeper is one thing, but twirling her is something else entirely:...
Newly Canned Valencia Manager Thinks He Was Fired For Winning A Trophy The Owner Wanted To Blow Off
Even for an infamously drama-filled club like Valencia, the decision to sack Marcelino this week, coming off back-to-back Champions League qualifications and a triumphant run to the Copa del Rey title last season, felt notably crazy from the outside. So imagine how absolutely insane Marcelino himsel...
Napoli's Manager Blasts The State Of The Team's Half-Built Locker Rooms
Following a summer of renovations at Napoli’s Stadio San Paolo—a project that forced the team to play its first two games of the season away from home—the stadium’s locker rooms are still not ready for use. Which has manager Carlo Ancelotti absolutely furious....
George Best And The Soccer Battle Of The Sexes That Changed ... Well, Nothing
Fifty years ago, on a drizzly Sunday afternoon in Manchester, Eva Haraldsted played soccer against George Best. Haraldsted was 21 years old. She wore a turquoise mini-dress, white soccer boots, and a high ponytail, and was captain of a women’s team called Blinkers United. Best, the shaggy-haired Man...