Soccer Page 195 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dickhead Soccer Fans Wrench Player's Jersey From The Hands Of Sobbing Little Boy
A soccer-loving Brazilian tyke learned first-hand the true, asshole-y nature of the sport’s grown fans this weekend when, at the conclusion of a match between Atlético Mineiro and América, the boy was delighted to find himself in possession of Atlético youngster Alerrandro’s game-worn jersey only to...
Cristiano Ronaldo Is In Trouble For His Thrusting Testicular Celebration<em></em>
UEFA announced on Monday that it has opened disciplinary proceedings against Cristiano Ronaldo, following the Juventus striker’s phallic celebration of his tie-clinching goal against Atlético Madrid in the round of 16 of the Champions League last week. ...
Lionel Messi's Hat Trick Inspired Opposing Supporters To Give Him A Standing Ovation
Lionel Messi doesn’t have to keep showing his greatness to us mere mortals, but he does so anyway out of the kindness of his heart. His latest act of generosity came against Real Betis where he scored an incredible hat trick in a 4-1 victory for his 477th win in a Barcelona shirt—a new club record....
![Here Is The Champions League Quarterfinals Draw [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mfkeutccfhdcgymitn32.jpg)
Here Is The Champions League Quarterfinals Draw [UPDATE]
The Champions League draw for the quarterfinals took place on Friday from Nyon, Switzerland, and, after a pleasingly brisk presentation, we now know what the next round of European soccer will look like, as well as the paths to the June 1 final....
Liverpool Will Go As Far As Sadio Mané Takes Them<em></em>
Faced with a most unenviable task—walking into Bayern Munich’s home stadium and needing to come away with a win or, at the very least, a scoring draw—Liverpool turned to their streaky African forward, who drove them to a commanding 3-1 victory and into the quarterfinals of the Champions League. No, ...
Cristiano Ronaldo And Juventus Got Exactly What They Were Looking For<em></em>
Cristiano Ronaldo’s decision to leave Real Madrid last summer was a bet on himself. It was a bet that for as unstoppable a force of nature he’d become, as perfectly complementary a supporting cast he’d found, and as much fame and adulation and trophies and awards he’d won at the most famous and succ...
The Premier League Top-Four Race Is Now Hotter Than Hell
If the past couple years have been the Premier League’s Golden Age, thanks to the league’s development of top-to-bottom quality and a powerful Big Six, making it the one domestic league all soccer fans practically must follow, then this season might just be this Golden Age’s Golden Year. All season ...
Zinedine Zidane's Return To Real Madrid Will Be Much Harder This Time
Just days after Real Madrid won their third straight Champions League title last May, Zinedine Zidane, the architect of each of those triumphs, shocked the world by resigning from the manager position. The former Juventus and Real Madrid legend had been installed as the head coach in 2016, after inf...
Mr. I Love This Game Patrice Evra Has Apparently Pissed Off The Weenies At PSG
It seemed that PSG had taken its final L for the season in its embarrassing collapse against Manchester United, but someone at the French club decided to add one last self-own to the tally....
Jack Grealish Got Punched In The Head By An Opposing Fan And Went On To Score The Game-Winning Goal
Less than 10 minutes into the EFL Championship match between Aston Villa and Birmingham City, a Birmingham supporter ran onto the pitch during a dead period of play, charged at Aston Villa captain Jack Grealish and landed a punch that hit the side of the player’s head. A steward was able to make his...
Soccer Man Celebrates Goal With A 10-Foot Drop Into A Pit Of Despair
Anderson Lopes is a Brazilian striker who recently joined Japanese club Hokkaido Consadole Sapporo. His debut on Saturday went about as well as anyone could have asked of him as he scored four goals in his first minutes with the club....
Entire U.S. Women's National Team Sues U.S. Soccer For Equal Pay
Three months before they begin their World Cup defense in France, 28 members of the United States Women’s National Team have filed a gender discrimination lawsuit against U.S. Soccer, the sport’s governing body, for paying the men’s team more than the women’s team. This suit, first reported on by th...
Nobody Benefits From Lionel Messi Returning To Argentina's National Team
After more than eight months away from the national team, during which time it wasn’t clear if he would play for his country ever again after yet another World Cup disappointment, Lionel Messi is officially back in the Argentina team. And that might not be good for anyone....
The Royal Shrovetide Football Game Is A Very Dumb, Very English, And Very Good Sport
For centuries, the citizens of Ashbourne, England have annually contested the Royal Shrovetide Football match, a sprawling, chaotic wrestling match masquerading as a soccer game. The thicket of ruddy blokes you see up top there are members of two teams: the Down’ards and the Up’ards, thus named for ...
Porto And Roma Had A Banger While No One Was Watching
While Manchester United was handing PSG yet another hilarious Champions League collapse in Paris, another, similarly entertaining match was going down 985 miles to the southwest of Europe. Porto hosted Roma at the Estádio do Dragão in Portugal, with the home team needing to make up a 2-1 first leg d...
Manchester United Boot Fraudulent Clowns PSG From The Champions League
Paris Saint-Germain, the most inept great team in Champions League play over the past handful of years, saw their dreams dashed in the competition once again as Manchester United orchestrated a shock comeback by winning today’s round of 16 second leg by a score of 3-1....
Real Madrid Starlet Vinícius Openly Sobs On Pitch After Being Forced Off With An Injury
Real Madrid’s teenaged boy wonder Vinícius had to come out of today’s home Champions League match against Ajax after injuring his leg. Likely due to a combination of the physical pain of the injury, the emotional pain of having to leave such a big game, and the psychic damage the complete and utter ...
Real Madrid Starlet Vinícius Openly Sobs On Pitch After Being Forced Off With An Injury
Real Madrid’s teenaged boy wonder Vinícius had to come out of today’s home Champions League match against Ajax after injuring his leg. Likely due to a combination of the physical pain of the injury, the emotional pain of having to leave such a big game, and the psychic damage the complete and utter ...
Soccer Player Accused Of Slashing Opponents With Hidden Blade During Turkish Third-Division Match
A third-division soccer player in Turkey is under investigation after he was accused of attacking and cutting multiple opponents at a match over the weekend. Amed SK’s Mansur Çalar allegedly slashed players of opposing side Sakaryaspor before and during the clubs’ heated 1-1 draw on Saturday. Four p...
Soccer Player Accused Of Slashing Opponents With Hidden Blade During Turkish Third-Division Match
A third-division soccer player in Turkey is under investigation after he was accused of attacking and cutting multiple opponents at a match over the weekend. Amed SK’s Mansur Çalar allegedly slashed players of opposing side Sakaryaspor before and during the clubs’ heated 1-1 draw on Saturday. Four p...