Soccer Page 205 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Even The Sprinklers Lost Control In Bournemouth's Match Against Wolves
In the 96th minute of a game tied at one a piece, Bournemouth keeper Artur Boruc was getting ready to launch a ball to his team. As if the pitch was responding to the slow pace of play, sprinklers emerged from the ground and started spraying the players that were waiting for the kick with water....

Goalkeeper's Boner Overshadowed By Striker's Even Bigger Boner
Libertad goalkeeper Martín Silva must’ve thought he was the biggest idiot on the pitch when his error served up an incredibly easy scoring opportunity for Atlético Nacional forward Omar Duarte in a Copa Libertadores match Thursday night. Luckily for Silva, Duarte one-upped the keeper with an even wo...

FIFA Bans Chelsea From Signing New Players Until Summer 2020
FIFA has hit Chelsea with a registration ban for the next two transfer windows, preventing them from signing new players until the summer of 2020, because of violations related to the signing of players under the age of 18....

Diego Simeone Explains Ball-Grabbing Celebration: "It Means We Have Balls, A Lot Of Balls"
Atletico Madrid put together an impressive 2-0 victory over Juventus in the Champions League yesterday, and manager Diego Simeone was caught, uh, expressing himself after José María Giménez put his team up 1-0 in the 78th minute. As you can see in the GIF above, Simeone appeared to turn towards the ...

Real Live Wizard Attends Champions League Match<em></em>
Schalke and Manchester City played themselves a pretty thrilling Champions League match on Wednesday, with a shorthanded City pulling off an unlikely comeback for a 3-2 win. But the real magic was happening in the stands in Gelsenkirchen, where a camera captured footage of what can only be explained...

Who The Hell Is Going To Win The Champions League?
Barcelona. Real Madrid. Liverpool. Juventus. Manchester City. These are all European soccer teams, and more specifically the teams in the Champions League round of 16 that seemed most likely teams to take home the double-eared trophy on June 1. Barcelona and Real Madrid have won the last five Champi...

Chelsea Are Getting A Ride On The Paul Pogba Experience
Manchester United haven’t had much of the ball through the first half of today’s FA Cup match against Chelsea, and when they have gotten possession they haven’t managed to produce very many crisp passages of play. They lead 2-0 at half time, though, because they have Paul Pogba....

This Little Kid's Spinning Backheel Volley Goal Is Cooler Than Anything You've Ever Done In Your Life
I don’t think goals in Polish U11 futsal tournaments qualify for the Puskás Award, but if they did then this unreal dink from little Bartosz Kuśmierczyk would make for a hell of a contender:...

Incredibly Broke Italian Club Fields Seven Teenagers To Avoid League Expulsion, Ends Up Losing Match 20-0
Serie C Group A (Italy’s third-flight division) bottom-dwellers Pro Piacenza suffered an absolutely brutal 20-0 loss to Cuneo on Sunday after the team was only able to field the seven players required to not forfeit the match....

Sergio Ramos Became The Most Sent-Off Player In La Liga History After (Almost) Kicking A Guy In The Face
Sergio Ramos might have earned himself a week off with his latest act of shithousery. In the final minutes of Real Madrid’s match against Girona, Ramos and Girona’s Pedro Alcalá both went for a ball in the air that Casemiro headed into the middle of the penalty box. Alcalá tried to use his head to m...

Mamadou Sakho Is Crystal Palace's Dap Master
This video, in which Crystal Palace defender Mamadou Sakho walks around the team cafeteria casually rattling off a series of intricate and unique handshakes with eight different teammates, could only be improved if at the end manager Roy Hodgson walked up and the two pulled off the most complex one ...

Players Like Sergio Ramos Are Why You Can Never Count Out Real Madrid
Real Madrid were always going to struggle to cope with losing Cristiano Ronaldo last summer, and during the first half of a miserable season with only one notable bright spot, that challenge proved even tougher than most would’ve imagined. However, Real Madrid are still Real Madrid, winners of four ...

Sergio Ramos May Have Earned Himself A Suspension With His Big, Dumb Mouth
When you’re part of a top European soccer club, it’s probably easy to forget that the rules, at least in theory, apply to you as well. Whether that’s Manchester City wiping their collective asses with the Financial Fair Play regulations, or Barcelona players gleefully indulging in tapping up (the eq...

Tottenham Grabbed Dortmund's Hair And Smushed Them Face-First Into The Dirt
This could have been an absolutely brutal stretch for Tottenham Hotspur, after suffering January injuries to two of their top players in Harry Kane and Dele Alli. Instead, Spurs have gone undefeated and undrawn in their past four Premier League games, and on Wednesday in the home leg of their Champi...

Nobody Enjoyed PSG's Beatdown Of Manchester United More Than Ángel Di María
Manchester United hosted Paris Saint-Germain in the Champions League today. PSG winger Ángel Di María once enjoyed a brief and ignominious tenure at United. These two facts made for a predictably tetchy atmosphere at Old Trafford, with the United fans wanting to express their still simmering anger a...

Chelsea's Grouchy Meltdown Is Happening Ahead Of Schedule
Why is it always like this at Chelsea?...

Sergio Agüero Is The Greatest Premier League Goalscorer Ever
Sergio Agüero scored three goals in Manchester City’s 6-0 evisceration of Chelsea on Sunday. He was the team’s best player on the day, just as he has been all season long and indeed for the duration of his eight record-breaking seasons in the Premier League. For as routine as the Argentine hitman ha...

Two Good Bayern Munich Fans Thwart A Dickhead's Attempted Jersey Thievery
A little Bayern Munich fan’s dream was almost dashed this weekend when defender Joshua Kimmich came over to toss the kid his jersey, only for a rude man to reach out and snag it. Thanks to the help of Kimmich and two other justice-minded fans nearby, though, the culprit was immediately shown the err...

Italian Milk Protestors Force Serie A Club To Miss Flight After Trapping Them In Training Ground
Serie A club Cagliari Calcio were about to leave their training ground on Saturday to catch the flight that would take them to their next match when they realized nearly 100 protestors had blocked all possibly exits. The protestors were made up of local farmers who were demonstrating against the rec...

Police Confirm That The Body Of Cardiff City Striker Emiliano Sala Has Been Found
The weeks-long search and rescue mission for the plane that disappeared in the English Channel while carrying new Cardiff City striker Emiliano Sala late last month has come to its tragic endpoint: Dorset Police have confirmed in a statement that they found the body of the 28-year-old Argentine in ...