Soccer Page 224 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Roberto Firmino's No-Look Goal Is Cold As Hell
Now this is just about as cheeky as it gets:...
Opposing Goalkeepers Spend Game One-Upping Each Other's Tremendous Boners<em></em>
Saturday’s Sunderland vs. Millwall match finished 2-2, and all four goals were scored thanks to an array of increasingly mind-boggling goalkeeper boners that almost beggar belief. This is either the worst example of high-level goalkeeping ever, or an impressive display of just how shameless match-fi...
Tony Pulis Has Once Again Lost His Job For Being Too Good At It
When Tony Pulis was named West Brom manager back in January of 2015, the club gave him a single task—one he’s demonstrated for years to be better at accomplishing than practically anyone in English soccer: keep the team in the Premier League, and make sure they stay there. In his just about three ye...
Arsenal Remind Everyone They Can Still Be A Force To Be Reckoned With
I can’t tell if it is an overly harsh reaction to what was a commanding performance in one of the biggest matches of the season so far, or if it is instead a perfectly justifiable reflex in light of this club’s constant yo-yoing between underachieving and ascendency, but the main feeling I was left ...
English Eighth-Tier Player Scores First-Class Golazo
Danny Dubidat plays for Alvechurch FC, way down in the “Northern Premier League Division One South,” which is level eight on the massive English soccer pyramid. No matter where you are, though, anyone can get a shot at glory....
Algerian National Team Coach Screams At Reporter, Tells Him To Retire
The Algerian national team played a friendly against the Central African Republic this week. The 3-0 win for Algeria suggests a rather boring affair, but there was plenty of action after the game....
Peru Beats New Zealand, Becomes Final Team To Qualify For World Cup
Peru defeated New Zealand tonight, 2-0, to qualify for their first World Cup since 1982 and complete next year’s 32-team field....
American Soccer Needs To Burn To The Ground
It’s hard to think of a single day that better encapsulated the pitiful state of American soccer culture than yesterday....
The USMNT's Newest Teen Sensation Provides Hope, Teammate Snatches It Away
Today is the USMNT’s first game back on the pitch since The Loss. From the ashes of such a debilitating defeat, the young and relatively unheralded group interim manager Dave Sarachan put out to face Portugal had a chance to win back some of the fan base’s faith. Which they did! Until they didn’t....
Girthy Goalkeeper Has A Much Smaller Man's Ball Skills
By physical appearance, you’d probably assume this chubby keeper playing for PS Sakiet Eddaier in Tunisia’s third division was something like a plumber or a short-order cook at a mid-tier chain restaurant. But judging by his frankly jaw-dropping tekkers, you’d be forgiven for thinking this roulettin...
Sweden Knock Italy Out Of World Cup Qualifying
For the first time since 1958 and only the second time ever, the Italian national team will not qualify for the World Cup. A 0-0 draw with Sweden in the second leg of the European play-off round sealed their fate, after the Azzurri lost 1-0 in the first leg on Friday....
Our Dear Sweet Wonderteen Christian Pulisic Is Very Sad About Missing The World Cup
Once the rage subsided within the proud hearts of American soccer fans in response to the USMNT’s humiliating failure to qualify for next summer’s World Cup, the feeling that settled in has been one of profound sadness. Mostly, this sadness has centered on what was stolen from us—namely, the opportu...
Honduras Accuses Australia Of Spying With A Drone Before World Cup Playoff
Australia and Honduras are currently in the midst of a two-leg playoff for one of the last available World Cup spots. The two sides played to a scoreless draw in San Pedro Sula last week, and they’ll meet again in Sydney on Wednesday for the rubber match. Tensions are obviously high between the two ...
Hope Solo Says Former FIFA President Sepp Blatter Groped Her At Awards Show
In an interview with Portuguese paper Expresso, former USWNT keeper Hope Solo says she was sexually harassed by former FIFA president Sepp Blatter before the two presented an award together at the 2013 Ballon d’Or ceremony....
The Columbus Crew's Austin Relocation Effort Has Its Own Oafish Astroturfing Campaign<em></em><em></em>
While the Columbus Crew are gearing up for an Eastern Conference Finals matchup with the formidable Toronto FC, their carpetbagging owner Anthony Precourt is continuing his efforts to move the Crew out of Ohio and resettle them in Austin. Last night, the Austin city council voted to look into the vi...
Patrice Evra Suspended, Cut From Team After Kicking Fan In The Face
Last week, Marseille defender Patrice Evra roundhoused one of his team’s fans in the face before a Europa League match and was suspended indefinitely by his club while they awaiting UEFA’s official punishment. That official punishment has now come down, and it will end Evra’s season and perhaps care...
The Year's Best Slapstick Comedy Is This Video Of Three Bumbling Soccer Ladies
Kudos to the lowlight reel maker here for backing this hilariously embarrassing moment from Wednesday’s Barcelona-Gintra Women’s Champions League match—which features one sort of big screwup followed by a ginormous one—with an appropriately vaudevillian score. We present: The Three Stoogettes....
Colombian Soccer Player Directs Racist Slant-Eye Gesture At South Korean Players
South Korea hosted Colombia in an international friendly earlier today. During a minor dust-up between players, Colombian midfielder Edwin Cardona made the slant-eye gesture in the faces of some South Korean players....
Manchester United Scout Journeys To Iceland To See Game Being Played In Qatar<em></em>
Iceland and the Czech Republic met yesterday for a friendly match, which the Czechs won 2-1 over Thor’s Mighty World Cup-Bound Soccer Raiders. The current international break is replete with friendlies scattered around the world, and as such, major clubs have sent their scouts to go check them out. ...
German Soccer Officials Are Realizing That Video Replay Fucking Sucks
The scourge of video reviews of subjective refereeing decisions has already infected soccer. The predominating viewpoint—mostly among soccer fans who haven’t seen how replay and inevitable replay-creep have poisoned American sports—on this unfortunate phenomenon has been that replay is good. But as ...