Soccer Page 256 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Radamel Falcao Is Resurrected
For most England-focused soccer fans watching yesterday’s Manchester City-Monaco Champions League match, seeing Radamel Falcao’s name in the starting lineup probably elicited more surprised chuckles than brows furrowed in worry or anticipation of what the striker might do. Oh wow, Falcao—that washed...

Once Again, Atlético Madrid Are All In On Winning The Champions League
Since Diego Simeone took over Atlético Madrid half a decade ago, Madrid’s other club has morphed into a juggernaut of sorts. La Liga has always been a comically imbalanced league, but Atleti spoiled Barcelona and Real Madrid’s party in 2013-14 and became the first “other” team to win the league in a...

Manchester City Beat Monaco 5-3 After Barnstorming Comeback And Now I Need A Cigarette
If you were unaware of the simple, indisputable fact that soccer is the best sport, and you had something else to do in the middle of the afternoon than sit in front of a screen and watch the Champions League today, then I would recommend you track down a replay of the Manchester City-Monaco match t...

Mike Piazza Shits On St. Louis And Major League Soccer At The Same Time, Achieves Glory
Mike Piazza, Hall of Famer and the best-hitting catcher in major-league history, is having a fine time in Italy these days. Much of it has to do with Reggiana, the third-tier soccer club in which he purchased a majority stake last year, and the New York Times’s Andrew Keh wrote a wonderful story abo...

Atlético Madrid's Saúl Scores A Banger Against Bayer Leverkusen
Saúl must have something against German teams. A year after ripping apart Bayern Munich with the run of his life, the Atlético midfielder thumped in a beautiful curler against Bayer Leverkusen today:...

Soccer Team Stops Playing Mid-Game In Protest Of Penalty Call
Vietnam apparently has some very principled soccer players, even if their beef here—that the ref gave a soft penalty—doesn’t look all that controversial of a decision....
![Big Fat Goalkeeper Faces Gambling Probe For Eating Pie During Match [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lyrnxkrbc7qnbffnwbq2.jpg)
Big Fat Goalkeeper Faces Gambling Probe For Eating Pie During Match [UPDATE]
Large boy Wayne Shaw, the backup goalkeeper for fifth-division Sutton United, has inevitably become a meme over the course of his team’s cinderella run to the fifth round of the FA Cup, which pits teams from up and down the league pyramid, and leads to wonderful, silly matchups like yesterday: Big, ...

Barcelona Are Miserable
If there’s been one consistent attribute of Barcelona’s play over the past decade or so that has seduced fans and neutrals and even ostensible enemies to buy a ticket to the Camp Nou or to flick on the TV to whichever obscure channel wound up with the La Liga broadcasting rights or to trawl sketchy ...

Good Soccer Man Embarrasses A Quartet Of Defenders
Jonathan Mejía and his UCAM Murcia squad lost to Real Valladolid on Saturday in some hot second-division Spanish soccer action, but really, who cares, for young Mejía scored the goal of his life. Look at the Honduran international turn these four dudes into jelly....

Paul Pogba And Zlatan Ibrahimović Come Off The Bench To Team Up For Manchester United's Winning Goal<em></em>
Three days after Zlatan Ibrahimović impressed with a hat trick against Saint-Étienne, here he is with a goal far prettier and more exciting than any of his three from Thursday:...

David Luiz Spears, Pins TV Reporter
David Luiz seems like fun....

Fed-Up Chileans Organize March To Convince Alexis Sánchez To Leave Arsenal
Alexis Sánchez, the pride of Chile, is one of the best soccer players on the planet. He’s also trapped on a bullshit team that kind of sucks, where—amazing goals and dribbles and passes be damned—he’ll probably never win anything of major consequence. To top it off, his bullshit team is balking at p...

Arsène Wenger Says He Will Manage Next Season, But Maybe Not At Arsenal
Arsenal had a big match in the Champions League on Wednesday, which is another way of saying Arsenal were yet again monumentally embarrassed in a huge moment. Arsenal are also right about at the start of the end stretch of their season, which is another way of saying that Arsenal are already out of ...

Lead Premier League <em></em>Ref Mark Clattenburg Is Taking His Talents To Saudi Arabia
Mark Clattenburg, famous referee/grade-A glory boy who decorates his biceps with tattoos to commemorate big games he called, quit his job as an English Premier League official on Thursday to become the head referee of Saudia Arabia’s football league. ...

Zlatan Ibrahimović Scores Hat Trick, Is Dad<em></em>
Today in Manchester United’s Europa League knockout match against Saint-Étienne, Zlatan Ibrahimović scored about the most unremarkable hat trick you’re likely to see. A poorly taken free kick that deflected in, a tap-in off a rebound, and a penalty. But the goals, bland as they were, aren’t the poin...

Bad Fan Hocks Loogie Straight Into Face Of Soccer Player
This video of some typically crude and unsporting behavior in Argentina is queued up to begin where the real action starts, but if you’d like a little backstory, you can skip back to the beginning. On the other hand, if you just want to see a dude spit in a player’s face, just hit play and let it ri...

Alexis Sánchez Does Two Bad Things, Saves Self By Doing Good Thing
Arsenal’s Alexis Sánchez had a chance to level up the game against Bayern Munich with a penalty. He took a bad one, and it was saved. Oops! Thankfully, the ball bounced kindly into his path for an easy rebound. Only he botched that with a whiffed shot. Oops again! The soccer gods smiled on Alexis, t...

Arjen Robben Teaches Arsenal Why You Can't Let Him Cut In On His Left Foot
Yes, everyone knows it’s coming. And everyone also knows that the whole point is that even though everyone knows it’s coming, it’s still impossible to stop. And yet it remains hard to watch a team allow Arjen Robben to get onto his left foot and do what he always does, as he’s just done to Arsenal:...

Soccer Team Boned By Ref Who Allowed Idiot On The Field To Score Goal
Motagua were on the cusp of sealing a big win late into their match against rivals Olimpia in the Honduran league last week. Then, up 2-1 with just seconds remaining, the Motagua keeper was beaten by two shots that hit the back of his net almost simultaneously. One goal was the equalizer, scored by ...

Clint Dempsey Cleared To Return After Heart Problem
After being sidelined in September 2016 for the remainder of the MLS season with an irregular heartbeat, Seattle Sounders and U.S. men’s national team forward Clint Dempsey has been cleared to return....