Soccer Page 257 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ángel Di María And PSG Kick Barcelona's Dicks Clean Off
For years Paris Saint-Germain have spared no expense in their efforts to realize their dream of winning the Champions League. For years they’ve failed, putting out attack-minded teams that crush domestic foes in Ligue 1 but consistently come up short in the competition they really want to win. And w...
Leicester City Are Having A Garbage Season
The fairy tale of last season was real. Leicester City—such a preposterously unlikely underdog that even the instinctive Cinderella comparison feels like a woefully insufficient metaphor for the sheer absurdity of a small, recently promoted club beating Manchester United and Chelsea and Arsenal and ...
Italian Soccer Guy Scores Most Bellissimo Goal Of His Vita
Mamma mia! Here’s Perugia forward Francesco Nicastro serving up the spiciest of meatballs with this outrageous jumping, spinning, backheel volley in Italy’s Serie B:...
Sadio Mané Steamrolled Tottenham All By Himself
Lately, the soccer-watching world has been in the midst of a (quite understandable) inquest into the mysterious affliction affecting Liverpool in 2017. It seemed like once the calendar switched, the club that had most convincingly staked its claim as the Premier League’s second-best team this season...
Two Minutes After Tweeting "Game Over," Sunderland Got Scored On Again
Here is Sunderland nearing the end of today’s match against Southampton:...
Finally, Someone Appears Ready To Unleash The Full Powers Of Gerard Deulofeu
It’s been an up-and-down year in an up-and-down career for the magnificently gifted, maddeningly daft, infinitely enamoring young winger Gerard Deulofeu. ...
Italian Guy Tries To Scheme His Way Into Hospital To Watch Soccer Game From Window, Fails
Most of the time when someone pretends to be sick so as to gain admission to a hospital, it’s to finagle their way into a prescription for drugs to slake an addiction. Yesterday, one Italian man tried something similar, though his addiction is to soccer and his satisfaction could be found right ther...
MLS's Simple Transfer Rules Explained In One Handy Chart
Wonder why some college soccer players are drafted into MLS while others are signed outright? Or why some players coming from overseas have their MLS destinations selected for them while others personally handpick the team they’ll play for?...
American Liverpool Fan's Adam Lallama Tattoo Is Dumb And Amazing At The Same Time
Adam Lallama. Adam Lallama. A llama, with Adam Lallana’s face. I’m almost tearing up over the beauty of it all....
Hometown Kid Jesé Introduces Himself To Las Palmas Fans With An Awful Miss
In the 67th minute of Monday’s Granada-Las Palmas La Liga match, PSG loanee Jesé stepped onto the pitch for the first time with his new club Las Palmas. That moment was the culmination of Jesé’s life journey so far, one that started in the city of Las Palmas, went through Madrid, took a short detour...
Romelu Lukaku Is The New King Of England<em></em>
If you are a close follower of Everton or the career of the Toffees’ big striker, Romelu Lukaku, you’ve become familiar with a certain set of criticisms that often get lobbed in Lukaku’s direction: He doesn’t run enough. He needs to improve his hold-up play. He only wants to score goals....
The USMNT Can Party Now
Attention, attention: The United States Men’s National Team is cool again, just in time for spring break. Bruce Arena has released the team from the authoritarian hold of Jürgen Klinsmann and he’s ready to burn this motherfucker down....
Elderly Giant Peter Crouch Is Still Scoring Goals And Dancing Like A Lovable Goof
Of all the soccer players even non-obsessives can most likely recognize, Peter Crouch is probably the oddest. He was never a truly great player, and never really all that popular or famous, either. For most of you who know Peter Crouch, it’s because of two of his immutable attributes: 1) that he’s E...
Sacramento's MLS Expansion Bid Is A Fiasco<em></em>
Sacramento was one of 12 cities to submit a formal application for an MLS expansion team yesterday, but they did so under mysterious circumstances. The city’s highly successful USL Pro side Sacramento Republic FC was suspiciously absent from the bid, which was handed in by a former Kevin Johnson PR ...
This Terrible Jack Rodwell Tackle Is Why English Soccer Is Wonderfully Stupid
Just look at this shit. A beautiful touch by Tottenham’s Mousa Dembélé to slice through Sunderland’s midfield. A completely hopeless and reckless leg-smasher of a tackle by Jack Rodwell in response to Dembélé’s skill. And somehow, despite standing three feet away with a perfect view of the clatterin...
Apparently Nobody Wants To Make It Hard For Chelsea To Win The Premier League
Chelsea came into today’s huge match against Liverpool atop the Premier League with an eight-point lead in the table that seemed right on the cusp of insurmountability. A loss away at Liverpool, once perceived to be Chelsea’s strongest rivals for the title, was probably the only thing that could tru...
David Luiz Definitely Stole This Free Kick And It Was Genius
My first thought after seeing the ball fly into Liverpool’s completely undefended net after a set piece was Holy shit, what just happened? My next was Oh wow, what a great psych-out free kick routine by Chelsea there! It was only upon my third thought that the true magnitude of the situation’s brill...
Dimitri Payet Gets Out Of England While The Getting Is Good<em></em>
Oh, Dimitri, we hardly knew ye—not that we were given much of a chance, seeing as your too-brief and utterly incandescent Premier League career lasted just a season and a half. ...
The USMNT Has A New Coach And The Same Old Problem<em></em>
It doesn’t make much sense to draw sweeping conclusions about the direction of the USMNT after yesterday’s U.S. vs. Serbia match, and it wouldn’t no matter what the result was. Despite being Bruce Arena’s re-debut at the start of his second spell as USMNT manager as he ushers the team into its post-...
Spurs Almost Lose To Fourth Division Wycombe Wanderers
Tottenham Hotspur avoided embarrassment by only the tiniest of margins in the FA Cup today, trailing the fourth-division Wycombe Wanderers for most of the day before escaping with the late win. Down 2-0 at halftime to the League 2 team and tied 3-3 as they went into stoppage time, a final goal from ...