Soccer Page 258 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arsène Wenger Banned Four Games For Pushing Referee
Arsenal will be sans grouchy zipper savant/manager Arsene Wenger for four games, after the English F.A. formally banned him this morning. Wenger was charged with misconduct on Monday for an outburst during last weekend’s win over Burnley....

English Soccer Team Produces Best, Dumbest Highlight Video For Canceled Game
Greenwich Borough FC are a tiny club that play in the Isthmian League’s Division One South. That’s the eighth division of English soccer and it’s mostly made up of semi-pro sides in London and southeast England. They played Hanwell Town yesterday, but the game was abandoned after 15 minutes due to a...

Granit Xhaka Interviewed By Police After Allegedly Calling Airport Worker A "Fucking White Bitch"
Arsenal midfielder Granit Xhaka was in London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday to see off his girlfriend’s brother on a flight to Germany. Things didn’t go as planned, though, and when the brother learned that he would miss his flight, Xhaka allegedly blew up on an employee of the airport, calling the w...

Manchester City Might Be Too Good To Become Great
That was more like it. Sure, Manchester City’s 2-2 draw against Tottenham on Saturday was on one hand frustratingly disappointing, seeing as the Citizens completely dominated Spurs and, barring some poor finishing, even worse refereeing, and a couple ill-timed defensive lapses, could’ve and should’v...

Ryan Mason Stable And Speaking After Breaking His Skull Going Up For A Header
Just 13 minutes into Hull City’s Premier League match against Chelsea yesterday, Hull midfielder Ryan Mason went up for a header in the box. Chelsea defender Gary Cahill rushed to intercept the ball, but instead, he smashed into Mason’s head, immediately sending him to the ground....

Borussia Dortmund Will Soon Be So Damn Good
In what has been a pretty tame January transfer window—unless Manchester United discarding spare parts gets you excited—Borussia Dortmund made perhaps the biggest splash today when they signed 17-year-old Swedish phenom Alexander Isak, along with extending the contract of the world’s future best pla...

I Want Some Of What Rod Stewart Had Before The Scottish Cup Draw
May we all be so high on life and/or other substances at one point or another that the simple act of plucking ping pong balls out of a bowl can fill us with the same joy Rod Stewart felt while helping with the Scottish Cup draw....

Arsène Wenger Charged By F.A. After Pushing Referee
Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger has now been formally charged with misconduct by the English F.A. after a spat he instigated with the referees during yesterday’s Premier League match against Burnley....

Behold The Unrelenting Genius Of Lionel Messi's Passes
The danger, if you can call it that, of regularly watching Lionel Messi play soccer—which is to say, to watch one man routinely perform stupefying acts of brilliance the likes of which you’ve never seen before—is that at some point, you run the risk of becoming inured to it....

Chapecoense Scores First Goal Since Tragic Plane Crash
Brazilian soccer club Chapecoense is playing its first game today—a friendly against Palmeiras—since the majority of the team was killed in a plane crash last November. With a rebuilt roster of 22 new players, most on loan from other clubs, Chapecoense took the field for the first time after a shor...

Wayne Rooney Becomes Manchester United's All-Time Top Scorer With Equalizer In Stoppage Time
Wayne Rooney became Manchester United’s all-time leading goal scorer in dramatic fashion today, with an equalizer in stoppage time against Stoke City today: ...

Former MLSer Quit Team To Be With His Cancer-Stricken Dog
As fans and followers exclusively of high-quality soccer, no one here at Deadspin picked up on the somewhat curious case involving the wonderfully nicknamed MLS player Juan Manuel “Burrito” Martínez and his mutually terminated contract with Real Lago Salado. Reported then only as a “personal issue” ...

Tiny Island Nation Caught Creating Fake Birth Certificates For Brazilian-Born Players
East Timor is a small nation occupying the eastern half of the island Timor, which is a few hundred miles north of the Australian mainland. The island was a Portuguese then Indonesian colony until 1999, when they achieved independence. Just over 1 million people live there, and it took their nationa...

Soccer Match Interrupted By Jolly Pup, Imperious Cat
A soccer match between Pachuca and Jaguares in Liga MX was briefly and adorably interrupted by a happy-go-lucky doggie that just wanted to enjoy an open expanse of grass. What a good dog!...

David Moyes To Sunderland Fans: Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here
Sunderland are in trouble. The squad is bad, the team is broke, and the man overseeing it all, once-heralded and now cosmically beleaguered manager David Moyes, can’t muster the will to even feign optimism....

Soccer Guy Gets A Goal, A Fiancée, And A Yellow Card All In One Sequence
We can now place public proclamations of everlasting love alongside ugly tackles, bare-chested celebrations, and diving as things that are against the rules in soccer....

Jermaine Jones Calls Tim Howard's Comments On USMNT Dual Nationals "Dangerous Stuff"
On Tuesday, USMNT goalkeeper Tim Howard questioned the passion of his dual-national teammates, in part blaming them and their lack of American-ness for the USMNT’s recent string of poor results. He tried walking back those comments by citing the strong play of dual-national teammates Jermaine Jones ...

Tim Howard Also Has Bad Takes On Foreign-Born USMNT Players (UPDATE)
USA Today got ahold of Tim Howard, and for some reason he decided to criticize a number of his United States Men’s National Team teammates as lacking sufficient passion for their country:...

What FIFA And The Cameroon National Team Are Doing To Joël Matip Is A Travesty<em></em>
Sepp Blatter may have been ousted from the corrupt and labyrinthine bureaucracy he constructed out of the billions of dollars that FIFA funnels in from the world’s love of soccer, but lest you worry that the organization isn’t as perplexingly, exasperatingly stupid as before, we have the case of Liv...

British Police Have Identified Over 500 Potential Victims Of Sexual Abuse In Soccer
Britain’s National Police Chiefs’ Council has released an update on the widespread investigation into sexual abuse in British soccer and the numbers are staggering. According to the NPCC, there are:...