Soccer Page 261 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Idiot On The Field Leads Slapstick Chase Through Copa America Match, Eventually Gets Bodyslammed
Chile vs. Colombia was exciting during the first half, nonexistent for the next two hours, then soggy and boring for the second half. Thankfully, stoppage time featured an amazing moment in Idiot On The Field history, as this enterprising dumbass managed to escape a sizable horde of the security tea...
A Good Shitkicking Is What U.S. Soccer Needed
There are two ways to absorb the U.S.’s 4-0 pantsing at the hands of an overwhelmingly superior Argentina side. The first is fatalist, and is espoused by ESPN’s Doug McIntyre. It holds that this drubbing was so utter and so complete that there’s nothing constructive to take from the loss, no insight...
![Idiot On The Field Bows Down To Messi [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/x52qls9dnrwuf9oepl5q.jpg)
Idiot On The Field Bows Down To Messi [Update]
Fox cameras didn’t show this enterprising Idiot On The Field, who clearly regards Messi as some sort of soccer god. Given his free kick shortly before, this is at least up for discussion, and our man here bowed down, took a selfie, and had plenty of time with Messi....
Croatia's Insane, Late Winner Turned The Euro 2016 Bracket Inside-Out
Until the 87th minute of this afternoon’s match against Spain, the biggest news Croatia had made at Euro 2016 was when fans threw a bunch of explosives and flares onto the pitch during a game against the Czech Republic. Croatian fans were reportedly planning another attack during the 30th minute tod...
Bring On Argentina
Last night, the United States Men’s National Team took down Ecuador to book a trip to the semifinals of the Copa America. They’ve made it further than Brazil, Uruguay, and one of Mexico/Chile will, and for a team that struggled to score legit goals for most of 2016, a noble loss in the semis is a mo...
The Pandora's Box Of Doping Cases Is About To Be Opened
Ten years ago, the Spanish Guardia Civil raided the Madrid lab of Dr. Eufemiano Fuentes and discovered 211 bags of blood from athletes Fuentes had worked with. Fuentes has faced 10 years of legal trouble, and some athletes he worked with have received bans, but the massive stash of frozen, damning s...
Gareth Bale Puts Wales Ahead Of England With 40-Yard Free Kick
England have dominated Wales in their Euro matchup, but find themselves behind at halftime thanks to this long-range bomb from Gareth Bale. It wasn’t a Robert Green situation, but Joe Hart really should’ve been able to hold onto that one. ...
L.A. Galaxy Require Cheap, Fake Goal To Beat Fifth-Division Beer League Team
“Obviously you’re going to bleed every precious second off the clock,” the announcer notes, as the L.A. Galaxy are nursing a 2-1 lead with only 10 men against La Maquina, obviously a fearsome opponent, given the Galaxy’s desire to nurse the clock. Wait, who are La Maquina?...
Series Of Cascading Errors Gifts Panama A Nice Lil' Goal
Panama have a chance to knock Chile out of the Copa America and join their CONCACAF friends (USA and Mexico) in the quarterfinals if they beat Chile this evening. Thanks to a terrible pass by a center back and some fumbling goalkeeping work, they got an early lead against the Chileans....
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Not Mad. This Is Actually Funny To Him.
Underwear mogul/ab demon Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese teammates opened their Euro 2016 campaign against Iceland today. It was the tiny island’s first European Championship game ever, and they managed to come from behind and tie Portugal, 1-1. Portugal had 27 shots, 10 on goal, and 66 percent...
No One Understands Soccer's Rules, And That's A Problem
In training last week I nicked a player from behind in an 8v8 game, he fell to the ground, and we scored off the turnover. Our coach, acting as referee from the sideline, asked if I fouled him. I always have the natural instinct to say no chance; there’s no asterisk next to a W in the results column...
Sepp Blatter Dishes On Hot Balls Scandal
Sepp Blatter’s FIFA was a world-historically corrupt organization that sold away World Cups and ran all sorts of illegal-ass schemes until the Justice Department shut them down and he got replaced by a new, not entirely different president. Even though he’s widely reviled (or held up, depending on h...
Venezuela Scissor Kick Their Way Ahead Of Mexico
Venezuela and Mexico are both going to advance to the quarterfinals of the Copa America, but the winner gets to avoid Argentina, so both teams have plenty to play for. The Venezuelans struck first and took a 1-0 lead thanks to José Velázquez going all upside down and smashing it past José Corona....
![UEFA Claim That The Euro 2016 Mascot Is Not A Sex Toy [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ogfan7ptrxczlevnrfdk.jpg)
UEFA Claim That The Euro 2016 Mascot Is Not A Sex Toy [NSFW]
That’s Super Victor, the mascot of Euro 2016! Hi, buddy! He’s cute, huh? Kinda like Ness from Super Smash Bros. What a nice mascot, let’s Google him to find out more information!...
Luis Suárez Threw Himself A Temper Tantrum And I Can't Really Blame Him
Uruguay are in big trouble at the Copa America after dropping their opener to Mexico, 3-1 on Sunday, then falling 1-0 to Venezuela this evening. They only managed to out one shot on frame tonight, and striker Edinson Cavani was awful. He is Uruguay’s best healthy attacker (more on that in a second) ...
The USMNT Is Getting Hot At Exactly The Right Time
After the USMNT lost 2-0 to Colombia last Friday, Jürgen Klinsmann was as optimistic as any coach will ever be after a scoreless tournament-opening loss. He told reporters he was “absolutely okay” with how his team played, and even said, “There was no difference besides the two goals.” While the exp...
The USMNT Needs To Go Young Or Die
The United States Men’s National Team will open the Copa America Centenario—a wonderfully entertaining Frankentournament that the U.S. is hosting only through sheer force of corruption—with a match against Colombia tonight in Santa Clara, Calif. Colombia is the shit. They could have taken down Brazi...
Judge Rules USWNT Must Abide By No-Strike Clause
A federal judge ruled Friday that the United States Women’s National Team is bound by a no-strike clause, ruling out the possibility of a strike before or during the upcoming Rio Olympics....
FIFA Reveals $80 Million In Probably Illegal Payments, Headquarters Raided Again
FIFA headquarters in Zurich, Switzerland, were raided yesterday by police, as they sought evidence that former top FIFA officials Sepp Blatter, Jerome Valcke, Markus Kattner illegally awarded themselves $80 million in pay raises and bonuses, AP reports. Blatter and Valcke were previously banned from...