Soccer Page 279 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ronaldinho Is Playing Futsal In India And Owning People Left And Right
Ronaldinho is one of the very best dribbling technicians of his era, and he can make anyone look like a damn fool for swiping at him while he’s doing his thing. He’s currently in the twilight of his career, and he just wrapped up a brief (more on this in a bit) tour with Goa of the Indian Premier Fu...
Twitter Prankster Fools Sky Sports Into Reading Made Up Facts About Team From Gibraltar
Yesterday afternoon, Celtic lost a 1-0 stunner in Champions League qualifying to the Lincoln Red Imps, who are a semi-professional team from Gibraltar. A police officer scored the lone goal, and Celtic now have to win at home to avoid getting bounced by the best team from a country of 30,000....
Mighty Celtic FC Lose Champions League Qualifier To Lincoln Red Imps, Who We Swear Are A Real Team
Celtic FC’s annual European humiliation came early this year, as they lost today in the Champions League second qualifying round against a team of semi-professionals from Gibraltar. A police officer scored the only goal in the 1-0 victory. ...
Iceland Did One Last Viking Clap With Their Fans
Iceland lost to France 5-2 in the Euro quarterfinals, after getting bum rushed for four goals in the first half. But the fact that Iceland—population: the same as Santa Ana, California, a city you didn’t know existed—even advanced far enough to get knocked out by France was a tremendous accomplishme...
Iceland Turn Back Into A Pumpkin, Give Up Four First-Half Goals To France
Iceland headed into their quarterfinal with France on the high of destroying England and sending the over-anxious Anglos into full meltdown mode. The entirety of Iceland has been watching their Viking boys wreck shit and play coherent, organized soccer, and an upset against France would be easily th...
Alexis Sanchez's Ankle Injury Is Pretty Gruesome-Looking
Alexis Sanchez had to leave the Copa America final before the penalty shootout on account of Gabriel Mercado caught him with a nasty tackle that left him unable to play past the 104th minute. Chile won anyway, thanks to Messi’s chokejob, but Alexis’ ankle has ballooned up and it looks like the podia...
Iceland's Slow Clap Is The Best Thing At Euro 2016
By now you are entirely on board with Iceland, the most surprising, most exciting, most likable team at the European Championship. More Jörmungandr than minnow, Iceland is still undefeated and has now dispatched Austria and England in consecutive matches....
Why Lionel Messi's "Retirement" Is Probably Just A Threat
It might have been merely frustration: Three straight years of making international finals, three straight finals losses in extra time or on penalties. Or it might have been the last night of Argentina as we know it....
Idiot On The Field Leads Slapstick Chase Through Copa America Match, Eventually Gets Bodyslammed
Chile vs. Colombia was exciting during the first half, nonexistent for the next two hours, then soggy and boring for the second half. Thankfully, stoppage time featured an amazing moment in Idiot On The Field history, as this enterprising dumbass managed to escape a sizable horde of the security tea...
A Good Shitkicking Is What U.S. Soccer Needed
There are two ways to absorb the U.S.’s 4-0 pantsing at the hands of an overwhelmingly superior Argentina side. The first is fatalist, and is espoused by ESPN’s Doug McIntyre. It holds that this drubbing was so utter and so complete that there’s nothing constructive to take from the loss, no insight...
![Idiot On The Field Bows Down To Messi [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/x52qls9dnrwuf9oepl5q.jpg)
Idiot On The Field Bows Down To Messi [Update]
Fox cameras didn’t show this enterprising Idiot On The Field, who clearly regards Messi as some sort of soccer god. Given his free kick shortly before, this is at least up for discussion, and our man here bowed down, took a selfie, and had plenty of time with Messi....
Croatia's Insane, Late Winner Turned The Euro 2016 Bracket Inside-Out
Until the 87th minute of this afternoon’s match against Spain, the biggest news Croatia had made at Euro 2016 was when fans threw a bunch of explosives and flares onto the pitch during a game against the Czech Republic. Croatian fans were reportedly planning another attack during the 30th minute tod...
Bring On Argentina
Last night, the United States Men’s National Team took down Ecuador to book a trip to the semifinals of the Copa America. They’ve made it further than Brazil, Uruguay, and one of Mexico/Chile will, and for a team that struggled to score legit goals for most of 2016, a noble loss in the semis is a mo...
The Pandora's Box Of Doping Cases Is About To Be Opened
Ten years ago, the Spanish Guardia Civil raided the Madrid lab of Dr. Eufemiano Fuentes and discovered 211 bags of blood from athletes Fuentes had worked with. Fuentes has faced 10 years of legal trouble, and some athletes he worked with have received bans, but the massive stash of frozen, damning s...
Gareth Bale Puts Wales Ahead Of England With 40-Yard Free Kick
England have dominated Wales in their Euro matchup, but find themselves behind at halftime thanks to this long-range bomb from Gareth Bale. It wasn’t a Robert Green situation, but Joe Hart really should’ve been able to hold onto that one. ...
L.A. Galaxy Require Cheap, Fake Goal To Beat Fifth-Division Beer League Team
“Obviously you’re going to bleed every precious second off the clock,” the announcer notes, as the L.A. Galaxy are nursing a 2-1 lead with only 10 men against La Maquina, obviously a fearsome opponent, given the Galaxy’s desire to nurse the clock. Wait, who are La Maquina?...
Series Of Cascading Errors Gifts Panama A Nice Lil' Goal
Panama have a chance to knock Chile out of the Copa America and join their CONCACAF friends (USA and Mexico) in the quarterfinals if they beat Chile this evening. Thanks to a terrible pass by a center back and some fumbling goalkeeping work, they got an early lead against the Chileans....
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Not Mad. This Is Actually Funny To Him.
Underwear mogul/ab demon Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese teammates opened their Euro 2016 campaign against Iceland today. It was the tiny island’s first European Championship game ever, and they managed to come from behind and tie Portugal, 1-1. Portugal had 27 shots, 10 on goal, and 66 percent...
No One Understands Soccer's Rules, And That's A Problem
In training last week I nicked a player from behind in an 8v8 game, he fell to the ground, and we scored off the turnover. Our coach, acting as referee from the sideline, asked if I fouled him. I always have the natural instinct to say no chance; there’s no asterisk next to a W in the results column...