Soccer Page 284 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Do The Most Common NFL Scores Compare To Soccer?
On Friday, FiveThirtyEight ran a post that collected data on nearly 200,000 English soccer scores from the last 126 years. The most common score was a 1-1 draw, there were more than 13,000 0-0 draws, and an alarming number of games where one side didn't score at all. The most common reaction was tha...
The Most Important Passers On Every Premier League Team
Coming into this weekend, Yaya Toure, Manchester City's all-everything central midfielder, leads the EPL in passes per 90 min with 92.8. That is a lot. It would be logical and intuitive to conclude that Toure is the most influential passer in the EPL. But that distinction actually belongs to West...
In England, A Team's Fans Are Sometimes More Powerful Than The Owner
This story is a great example of the fundamental differences between European soccer clubs and American franchises. ...
Top Female Soccer Players Sue FIFA Over Bullshit Artificial Turf
After weeks of pleading with FIFA to change its mind about playing the 2015 women’s World Cup on field turf instead of grass and being met with nothing but stubbornness, a handful of women’s soccer’s biggest stars have filed a lawsuit against FIFA to try and force the organization to put the upcomin...
Lady Soccer Ref Gets Smoked In The Face By Rocketing Ball
Of all the dangers native to lower league soccer—terrible pitches, zero security, studs-up challenges, etc.—referees taking concussive shots to the head isn't really the the first to come to mind. Thanks to this Argentine fifth-division ref's header, we now have a more accurate list....
How Hulk Became The World's Most Underappreciated Superstar
If there's one good thing about the handful of great players plying their trade in Russia—and it would be the only good thing, mind you—it's that their home Champions League ties often start a few hours before the rest. That timeslot gives their abilities at least a modicum of the attention they des...
Finnish Soccer Announcer Blows Gasket When Team Scores, Wins Promotion
There is no sweeter song extolling the virtues of a promotion fight than this Finnish announcer's guttural screams of pure delight after FC Santa Claus scored the deciding goal, guaranteeing them a spot in the third tier next season. Quick, someone give Fox Soccer this guy's number....
Looks Like The Manchester United Traveling Circus Might Really Happen
During the latter stages of last season, there were rumors that United might partake in a tour of the Middle East and Asia during the missing midweek Champions League fixtures that otherwise would've filled the schedule and coffers. It was funny enough to mention in passing, but too outlandish to be...
This Year's Highest-Paid MLS Player Isn't Actually Playing In MLS Yet
So, what we have below is an updated list of every MLS player's salary. There are some things worth talking about. ...
Report: MLS Will Shut Down Chivas USA
Per ESPN, Chivas USA is expected to cease operations after season's end and remain dormant for a minimum of two years before coming back as a totally different club, which is a politically correct way to say they're blowing it all up and starting over. It's the nuclear option for an MLS club that se...
Wayne Rooney Gets Dumbest Red Card Ever
Manchester United are taking on West Ham today, and after captain Rooney and striker Robin van Persie goals put United up two after just 22 minutes, West Ham pulled one back eight minutes before half. In the second half, the visitors settled in and began to dominate play. We've seen this movie befor...
Mario Balotelli Does Helium Voice Trick, Still Has Spirit Of A Child
Is it too soon to delete that other post? Because Mario Balotelli's Instagram is all you need to know about soccer....
Hey, Come Over And Look At This Soccer Player's Floppy Dong Real Quick
This is FC Girondins de Bordeaux striker Thomas Touré, who was in action yesterday against AS Saint-Étienne. And this is Thomas Touré's dong....
How To Be A Soccer Fan
Towards the tail end of this past World Cup, more than a few readers emailed us looking for guidance on how to become a soccer fan. Never ones to disappoint our adoring readership, we've now obliged. Here's how we imagine that conversation would go....
Alleged Striker Fails To Score Easiest Goal Ever
Philipp Hofmann of Kaiserslautern could've done anything else with the ball here and scored. He could've barely tapped it in almost any direction and it would've gone in. He could've tripped over in his wind-up and his face would've bungled it in. His only job was not to do exactly what he did....
Watch Manchester United Fans Brawl With Guys Dressed Like Waldo
In one corner, a bunch of drunken oafs fresh off leaving a United match. In the other corner, a bunch of drunken oafs celebrating a bachelor party and wearing matching Where's Waldo? shirts and hats. It's the most England video there is. ...
The Worst Punishment For Luis Suárez Is Forcing Him To Play Teenagers
The worst part of Luis Suárez's suspension for the player himself probably hasn't been the jokes about his cannibalistic supervillain image, nor missing out on the early parts of this promising Barcelona season, nor the weekly adulation from tens of thousands of fans he used to receive whenever he s...
FIFA's Independent Investigator Wants His Corruption Report Released
FIFA hired an outside investigator to conduct a probe into allegations of bribery in the bidding process for the Russia and Qatar World Cups. That investigator, a former U.S. federal prosecutor, has finally submitted his findings to FIFA with the expectation that they would eventually be released to...
Ghanaian Soccer Star Denies Rumors He Ritually Sacrificed Rapper Friend
In the second confrontation—the first involving kicking the shit out of a journalist for inquiring on the subject—of rumors that Asamoah Gyan had his old friend, the rapper Castro, ritually sacrificed to benefit his career, the Gyan family has released a long statement denying the allegations....