Soccer Page 291 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Irish Comedy Show Pokes Fun At Brazil-Netherlands Match With "Highlight"
Après Match is a comedy show on Irish station RTÉ that mocks various soccer commentators from Ireland and Great Britain. (Here's more of their stuff; it's amusing!) Yesterday, the crew found their "Great Dutch Play" from the third-place World Cup match between Brazil and the Netherlands, and the hig...
Thierry Henry Doesn't Give A Shit That He Just Scored A Goal
Thierry Henry popped in a goal in the 45th minute Saturday to put the New York Red Bulls up 2-1 over the Columbus Crew, but he wasn't in the mood to celebrate....
Match Mercifully Ends; Netherlands Beat Brazil 3-0
We know, lady. We know. This...this was not a good match. The Netherlands took out what little air was in this match almost immediately and then tacked on a meaningless third goal in added time, which we're not even bothering to GIF because, fuck it, this was a game for third place. Good news, Nethe...
Netherlands Take Early 2-0 Lead Over Brazil
For a team whose coach wanted absolutely nothing to do with this glorified exhibition match, the Dutch have come out firing. A streaking Robben earned an early penalty in the second minute when Thiago Silva yanked his shoulder as he galloped toward the goal. Robin van Persie confidently hit the top ...
Every Univision ¡GOOOL! Of The World Cup, Ranked By Length
We've been fans of ESPN's excellent World Cup coverage, but for your money's worth it's tough to beat the live match broadcasts on Univision. Here's every goal scored thus far in the World Cup, stitched together into one very long ¡GOOOOOOOOOL!. Below you'll find a chart ranking every goal of the to...
Listen To Buenos Aires React To Argentina's World Cup Semifinal Win
I love this video very much. Reaction videos are generally great for seeing people's reactions—the joy and surprise on their faces, the triumphant body language. In this one, you can't see a thing. But you can hear everything....
Argentina's Javier Mascherano Says He Tore His Anus Against The Dutch
Javier Mascherano did not have a pleasant Wednesday. In Argentina's match against the Netherlands, not only did Mascherano take a hit to the head, but he says he suffered another painful injury while defending a shot by Arjen Robben....
Florida Coach Suspended For "Twerking On Soccer Players" At Party
In the old days, a middle school soccer party used to mean cheap pizza, off-brand local supermarket soda, and having to leave when your mom picked you up on the way back from the mall....
Your Netherlands-Argentina Open Thread
Huh, the World Cup actually didn't end yesterday. Let's hope for more fireworks now....
Showing Attractive Fans On TV? That Was One Man's Idea
Originally published on Slate....
Meet "The Saddest Man In Brazil"
He's been dubbed "the saddest man in Brazil," after cameras caught caught him hugging his replica World Cup trophy during Brazil's blowout loss, his face twisted by emotion. But don't you worry about the man who'd rather call himself "Gaúcho da Copa"—he's led just about the best life a soccer fan ca...
Germany-Brazil Was The Most-Tweeted Sporting Event In History
If you are reading this, you probably watched and wondered at Germany's 7-1 brutalizing of Brazil. And there's a good chance you tweeted about it, because it was one of the most stunning outcomes sports has ever seen. If so, you're a little part of history....
Today's Brazilian Newspaper Covers Are Pure Sadness
If there's one thing to be thankful for in the wake of Brazil's World Cup meltdown, it's that the host country's stunning 7-1 defeat gave Brazilian newspaper editors a chance to cut loose and really go all-in with the despair. With that in mind, let's survey (via Newseum) today's best, saddest Bra...
The Maddest And Saddest Brazil Fans
Just because we have real sympathy for Brazil fans, who banked so much on this World Cup and saw it come apart in the span of six minutes, does not mean we can't admire their agony....
Luiz Felipe Scolari Falls On His Sword
There's something about a mollywhomping that turns losers philosophical. As if there's no place to hide, no excuses that can possibly be made, and the only way to salvage some dignity is to humble yourself before a world already inclined to be sympathetic. After Brazil's 7-1 defeat at the hands of G...
Germany-Brazil, Summarized By A Roomba
This might be my favorite recap of the Germany-Brazil match. Brazil were so awful, a damn Roomba clowned them on Instagram....
World Cup Jinx Mick Jagger Screwed The Brazilians Again
Mick Jagger has had a run of unwitting World Cup predictions as good as any octopus—only Mick's endorsement is to be avoided at all costs. Anyone he supports, loses. He was in Brazil's corner today, naturally....
Germany Ruin Brazil In World Cup; People Make Holocaust Jokes
Germany routed Brazil, 7-1 in today's World Cup semifinal. Many were sad. Others saw the opportunity for Holocaust jokes....
Brazil Fans Are Losing Their Minds
Here's the staff at the Youth With A Mission nonprofit in Saint-Marc, Haiti, reacting to the fourth of five Germany goals in the first half. They appear to be Brazil supporters. Anger is a legitimate alternative to sadness. ...
Wrestling Legend "J.R." Jim Ross Calling The Brazil-Germany Highlights
How do you improve upon the highlights from Germany's 7-1 thrashing of Brazil? By adding wrestling legend Jim Ross to the goal calls, that's how. [Updated with the second half goals.]...