Soccer Page 330 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Andrea Pirlo Just Scored Another Incredible Free Kick Goal
This is Juventus's Andrea Pirlo. He's 100 years old, and, aside from the greatest flowing mane of hair to ever grace a human's head, looks older than that. No one has seen him move in earnest in six or seven years, but he scores stunning free kicks all the time. This is one of those times. ...
This Intentional Own Goal Is A Black Hole Of Fair Play And Bullshit
Okay, let's break down this footage of a recent Serie D match: A Dro player fair-plays the ball out of play after a Fersina dive, Fersina fair-plays it back to the Dro keeper, who somehow lets it slip through his legs for a goal. Then Fersina allows Dro to run down the field unimpeded to fair-play a...
Zenit Player's Face Was A River Of Blood After Getting Kneed In Head
Unlike Antonio Valencia yesterday, Zenit's Tomas Hubocan was looking more Jake LaMotta than Rocky after Robert Lewandowski opened a vein with an unfortunately well-timed knee to the side of the head. Soccer is a blood sport....
Sweet Jesus, Look At Antonio Valencia's Face
Cut him, Moyes!...
This Fluke Backheel Goal From 35 Yards Out Is Just Hilarious
While you MLS truthers and Eurosnobs were watching soccer last weekend, this absolute gem of a goal happened in the Jordan Premier League. ...
Report: FIFA VP Paid Millions By Qatari Firm After World Cup Vote
It's a good sign a sport's governance is seriously screwed up when a report emerges that a FIFA executive received millions of dollars from a Qatari soccer official after Qatar was awarded the World Cup, and everyone's first reaction isn't anger, but more along the lines of "no shit."...
Lionel Messi Broke Barcelona's All-Time Goal Record With This Hat Trick
Another game, another broken record in the simply unparalleled career of Lionel Messi. His hat trick against Osasuna yesterday put him atop the all-time Barcelona scoring charts at 371, surpassing Paulino Alcántara's 87-year-old mark of 369. It was a vintage display from a player whose game is only ...
Arsenal Striker Nicklas Bendtner Rubbed His Dick On A Taxi Tuesday
While Arsenal were in Germany being ousted by FC Bayern in the Champions League on Tuesday, Gunners striker Nicklas Bendtner was getting shithoused in Denmark. He got so smashed, according to reports, that he threatened a cab driver, pulled out his cock, and humped the car. The Telegraph has more:...
How Will The 2014 World Cup Ball Swerve? An Aerodynamic Test
There are now only a few months to go until the biggest sporting event of 2014—the FIFA World Cup in Brazil—and questions are being asked. Will the stadiums be ready? Are the airports ready for the crowds? But one matter rises above all others, and may have an impact on the destiny of the cup itself...
Tottenham Boss Bashes Players, Flexes Imaginary Muscles
Spurs, Spurs, Spurs. It's always something with you guys, isn't it?...
This Dumb Sign May Cost FC Bayern A £50,000 Fine
German side FC Bayern are facing a double fine from UEFA for this homophobic "Gay Gunners" fan banner from yesterday's Champions League match against Arsenal. ...
Diego Costa Just Won't Stop Scoring
Spanish side Atlético Madrid are hosting AC Milan this evening in the second leg of their Champions League round of 16 tie. Madrid snuck an away 1-0 win at Milan in the first match after an 83rd-minute goal from Brazilian-born Spanish forward Diego Costa. Today, it only took him three minutes to add...
When England's Greatest Genius Took Over England's Best Team
If there's one sports novel you should read, it's probably The Damned Utd, David Peace's 2006 account of Brian Clough's disastrous 44-day tenure with a Leeds United side that detested him as much as he detested them. On one level it works as a meticulous, if fictional, reconstruction of a crucial pe...
Reading Deadspin? Allow A Former MLS Player To Convince You Otherwise
This morning, I sat at my breakfast table going over the news. Checking through my inbox, I saw an email from a friend: "This is going to make you furious." It contained the link to a Deadspin article: "Getting Ready for MLS? Allow Us to Convince You Otherwise."...
Carlo Ancelotti's Eyebrow Is The Greatest Thing Ever: A Gallery
Some may argue for Jon Hamm's jawline, Angelina Jolie's lips, or Halle Berry's cheekbones as the world's greatest facial feature but for my money, perfection incarnate is Carlo Ancelotti's left eyebrow. Its curve. Its omnipresence. It's the most interesting to happen on a human face since Cyrano de ...
USWNT's 43-Match Undefeated Streak Ends At The Hands Of Former Coach
The US women's soccer team lost to Sweden today, 1-0, in Portugal's Algarve Cup. It was vengeance for the Swedes on a few of levels. For one, the USWNT's streak started with a 2012 Algarve Cup victory over Sweden. Our ladies' coach way back then? Pia Sundhage, who has since left the Yanks to coach h...
Soccer Analyst Calls Arsenal Player "The Big Fucking German" On Live TV
Here we have Chris Lymberopoulos talkin' some soccer on Sky Sports News early this morning. At one point, he started talking about Arsenal's 6-foot-6 center back, Per Mertesacker. Turns out, Mertesacker has a pretty great nickname....
Wolves Fan Gets Upside-Down Apology Letter After Jersey Screw-Up
Yesterday, Wolverhampton fan Richard Gough received his new shirt and noticed something a bit off:...
Getting Ready For MLS? Allow Us To Convince You Otherwise
It's about that time of the year again! Timber Joey is gassing up his chainsaw, Thierry Henry is stretching those creaking joints, and Michael Bradley is getting ready to lace up his boots, the prodigal son back on (well, North) American soil after so many years away. Yep, Major League Soccer, the l...