Soccer Page 332 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Soccer Coach In Coma Wakes Up When He Hears About Team's Comeback Win
Wayne Thorne was just starting his second season as the manager at English soccer club Larkhall Athletic when he was involved in a head-on car collision. He ruptured an artery in his heart and crushed 16 of his 24 ribs. He punctured a lung and shattered his hip and pelvis. He broke his sternum and h...
Arsenal Are Well And Truly Fucked
Today, English club Arsenal are playing Turkish side Fenerbahçe in the first leg of the Champions League playoff round. The match comes four short days after the Gunners were beaten handily at home by Aston Villa, 3-1, in the first match of this Premier League season. And now, chaos....
Announcers Go Berserk When Real Sociedad Scores A True Team <em>Golazo</em>
Real Sociedad's Champions League bout against Lyon is turning out to be a true spectacle for the visiting side, after this astounding half-volley goal from range by Haris Seferović that was set up by a series of gorgeous passes on the throw-in....
Sketchy Reports: Gareth Bale To Be Sold For All The Money
According to a variety of dubious reports in unreliable foreign outlets, Tottenham Hotspur star Gareth Bale is actually, really, finally, supposedly about to be sold off to Real Madrid for (at present exchange rates) $145.81 million, with Spurs supposedly then buying up everyone this side of George ...
Petr Jiracek Misses The Easiest Goal Opportunity
Petr Jiracek would probably like this chance at an easy goal back....
Here Is NBC's First Goal Call Of The Premier League Season
We have our first goal of the 2013/14 Premier League season. After some buildup, Liverpook's Daniel Sturridge received a pass from Iago Aspas at the top of the box and drove a ball with his left across goal, beating Stoke City keeper Asmir Begovic and tucking just inside the right post. It was a goo...
Your Team Is Probably Going To Fail: The 2013-14 Premier League
Fuck yeah, man. The Premier League's back tomorrow. This is super duper great, because although various leagues like the German Bundesliga and France's Ligue 1 have already kicked off, ain't nothing like the Premier League. While other leagues annually boast only two or three top sides and naught bu...
Another Former Employee Sues Chivas USA For Discrimination
A former employee has filed a discrimination complaint against MLS team Chivas USA, claiming any non-Latino employee was harassed and squeezed out of the club. This follows on the heels of two Chivas USA coaches filing a suit that made similar claims....
Remote Warehouse Contains More U.S. Soccer History Than Anyplace Else
Since the National Soccer Hall of Fame closed in 2010, its thousands of artifacts have been sitting untouched in a locked North Carolina warehouse. What will become of this enormous trove of U.S. soccer history?...
After Getting Fucking Bossed, USMNT Stages Inexplicable, Epic Comeback
After 45 minutes of getting mollywhopped by Bosnia in today's friendly, the United States Men's National Team were down, 2-0, at half. At halftime we (I) wrote as much, briefly detailing exactly how the Americans were getting mollywhopped, and saying that barring foolery, it was a wrap for U.S. Socc...
This Soccer Photo Is An Incredible Optical Illusion
This Reuters photo, from today's Belgium-France friendly, has not been altered in any way. (Full version here.) Mathieu Valbuena is short, about 5'6"— but here he's leaning back at the exact perfect angle to make this look like Dorf on Soccer....
A Photo Tribute To Drunk Scottish Fans
Today's Scotland-England friendly—only the fourth matchup between the two since the annual fixture was stopped in 1989—played out under the specter of next year's referendum on Scottish independence. So the Tartan Army was out in full force, gathering in London's Trafalgar Square before heading out ...
Bosnia, Up 2-0, Is Beating The USMNT's Ass Right Now [UPDATE: Welp...]
So, Bosnia-Herzegovina is currently smacking the shit of the U.S. Men's National Team. ...
Messi, Beckham, Pelé Sign For An English Club You've Never Heard Of
This is so dumb....
The Belgium National Soccer Team Makes Great Use Of Instagram Video
This comes to us from the Instagram account of Belgian soccer player Romelu Lukaku. It will make you miss your little league teammates. ...
The Perfect Response To NBC's "Premier League 101"
Earlier today, NBC Sports—which starts broadcasting the Premier League this season, which is why Joe Posnanski has all of a sudden decided to write about soccer—Tweeted this image, titled "BPL 101":...
America's Most Important Soccer Player Conquers The Old World
Originally published in Howler Magazine, whose latest issue is a celebration of U.S. soccer's centennial. Follow the magazine on Twitter, @whatahowler....
Here's A Soccer Player Pantsing An Opponent Right In Front Of Referee
Chesterfield F.C.'s Gary Roberts was all set to take a free kick when Russell Penn of Cheltenham quietly kicked the ball out of Roberts's desired position. That's when Roberts pantsed him....