Soccer Page 346 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Italy Beats Germany In Soccer, Vulgar Newspaper Headlines
Ahead of their Euro semifinal match yesterday, one German paper stuck a bunch of Italian players on a pizza and called it an insult. They don't know from insults. The Italians? They know insults....
The Foul-Mouthed Greek Coach Who Failed To Lead The U.S. To Soccer Glory
Germany smashed Greece, 4-2, in Euro 2012 last Friday. There would be no revenge for the not-austere-enough nation. On this week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast, genuine Greek Stefan Fatsis explores the team's tortured history (and the US's!) through Alketas Panagoulias, who rece...
German Newspaper Has Brilliantly Lowbrow Front Page Ahead Of Italy Match
This is the front page of today's Hamburger Morgenpost, ahead of this afternoon's Euro 2012 semifinal between Germany and Italy. It's a thing of beauty, or maybe stupidity. Yes, those are anguished Italian players in the pepperoni slices. Germany is weird....
David Beckham Cut From Olympic Team
In something of a shock, it's being reported that David Beckham will be left off Britain's Olympic team. The 37-year-old will not be among the three players over 23 on the roster—those places will go to Ryan Giggs, Craig Bellamy, and in Beckham's presumed spot, Micah Richards, who was himself a surp...
Surprise, England: The Racist Was You All Along!
Boy, we all got psyched for some old-fashioned Eastern European racism, didn't we? "Stadiums of Hate," and Sol Campbell warning about twin black-hating boogeymen Andrzej and Andriy, and even England players leaving their families at home. Well, perhaps there's a lesson here, because not only did Eng...
Here's How British TV Broadcasters Reacted Live To News Italy Bounced England From Euro 2012
Just in time for the national sports focus's shift to Wimbeldon, England's national team flunked out of Euro 2012. A 4-2 loss on penalties to Italy in last night's quarterfinal match in Kiev was, naturally, the top story of the day, so we decided to drop in various national British networks to see...
A Sad English Penis Could Not Stop Italy From Advancing
Pirlo's Panenka-esque chip turned the tide. The Ashleys' gaffes set the table. But it was Alessandro Diamanti, going left and going low, that sent Italy through to the semis over the broken hearts of the overachieving Three Lions....
Chinese Man Died Of Exhaustion Trying To Watch All Of Euro 2012
A Chinese man has reportedly died after staying up for 11 straight nights (because of the time difference) to watch every match of Euro 2012....
Drunken Irishman Can't Find The Porta-Potty At Euro 2012
It is impossible to watch this video and not find yourself actively rooting for the Ireland fan to successfully locate and open a portable toilet in Poznan. The European Championship is truly awash in human drama. [Total Pro Sports, via SportsGrid]...
Mario Balotelli Doesn't Do Thing
Italy have a few days off before their quarterfinal match, so the team is trying a little bit of everything in training. Yesterday's session included some yoga, which, to be fair, does sound a little new-agey for Balotelli. He's more a "blow stuff up in your bathroom" sort of guy. Mario's level of p...
If You Are A Journalist, Ukraine's Soccer Coach Will Fight You
Ukraine head coach Oleg Blokhin, who's something of a soccer legend in Russia, really wanted to beat the shit out of some journalists today, after his squad lost 1-0 to England and was eliminated from Euro 2012. What made the day worse for Blokhin was that Ukraine appeared to score in the 63rd min...
Zlatan Ibrahimović Has Scored The Goal Of Euro 2012 Thus Far With An Astounding Volley
The Swedes are eliminated from qualifying for the knockout round, but it didn't stop them from reveling in Zlatan Ibrahimović's astounding goal to put Sweden up 1-0 on France in today's Group D match....
To UEFA, Wrong Underwear Far Worse Than Fan Racism
Know this: UEFA is very protective of its sponsors. (Here are the Euro 2012 sponsors, soulless corporations all, and you should avoid their products for the remainder of the tournament. Except possibly Ukrsotsbank PJSC.) Paddy Power, the Irish bookmaker, is just as corporate and just as interested i...
Three Toronto FC Players Arrested In Nightclub Brawl
In Houston ahead of Wednesday's match against the Dynamo, three Toronto FC players found themselves spending a night in jail. According to the Toronto Sun, Luis Silva, Miguel Aceval and Nick Soolsma were arrested for public intoxication after being involved with a fight at the Escobar club in Midtow...
At Euro 2012, No Place For English Optimism Or Swedish Sobriety
KIEV, Ukraine—The English did not come to Kiev in droves. According to a few of them who milled about before the match with Sweden, their countrymen stayed away for two reasons: 1) The fear of racism and violence, fueled by the BBC's sensationalist Stadiums of Hate documentary, and 2) an unflinching...
Ukraine Solves Its Alcoholic Bear Problem Just In Time For Euro 2012 (Also, Ukraine Had A Problem With Alcoholic Bears)
Some of you may not know this, but Ukraine has a bit of a problem with drunk bears. They call them "vodka bears" because they were given vodka and forced to dance as a means of entertainment at local hotels and restaurants. Last August, efforts were made to stop the practice, but now I guess they h...
Danny Welbeck's Brilliant Back-Heel Volley Brought England From Behind To Beat Sweden 3-2
Sweden's Euro 2012 dream is over thanks to Theo Walcott & Danny Welbeck's work late in today's match....
Banana On The Pitch! A Roundup Of Horrible Euro 2012 Fans, With Croatia In The Early Lead
Ah yes, the traditional banana hurled at a black player. Euro 2012 is officially on!...
Today's Ukraine-France Match Is Delayed Because God Is Angry
Hellfire is raining in Donetsk, where the Euro 2012 Ukraine-France match is delayed due to heavy rain and lightning, some of which appears here to have attempted to find its way inside the stadium. (That ain't sunlight.) Clearly Thor is angry Norway failed to qualify....
Thousands Of Irish Soccer Fans Sing Their Team Off After A Crushing Defeat
Ireland got thrashed by Spain today, 4-0, in the second match of the group stage, but the loyal Irish faithful that flew into Gdansk for the match nonetheless sang their team off the pitch with a rousing rendition of "The Fields of Athenry" in the waning moments. It's basically like a couple thous...