Soccer Page 350 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cayman Islands Banker Inexplicably Elected New Concacaf Boss
Nah, it doesn't seem shady at all to install the head of the Cayman Islands soccer contingent as the new big cheese overseeing all of North/Central American and Caribbean soccer. Nope, no sir....

Haven't Scored In Five Games? Fans With Arrows Will Show You Where The Goal Is.
We saw great photos of this on Dirty Tackle a couple days ago, but have been waiting for the video to emerge. And it is fantastic. ...

Bolton Win One For Muamba
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Inter Milan sacked manager Claudio Ranieri this week, and introduced interim manager Andrea Stramaccioni this morning at a press conference....

Lionel Messi Tries His Hand At Basketball In A New Herbalife Ad
Okay, so the punch line is kind of ridiculous and would be a clear violation in an real basketball contest. Given the one-on-one game between Barcelona star Lionel Messi and a random basketball player has a clock counting down, we're pretty sure Herbalife isn't particularly concerned with the deta...

Racist Tweets About Fabrice Muamba Get Student 56 Days In Jail
When Bolton's Fabrice Muamba collapsed and his heart stopped for more than an hour, onlookers could only pray. The professionals could do more, defibrillating his heart back into action and saving his life. Meanwhile, a 21-year-old Welsh asshole was merrily Tweeting away that he hoped Muamba was dea...
![A Stoppage-Time El Salvador Goal Brought An End To The Olympic Dreams Of U.S. Men's Soccer [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
A Stoppage-Time El Salvador Goal Brought An End To The Olympic Dreams Of U.S. Men's Soccer [UPDATE]
The United States will not field a men's soccer team at the London Olympics after this stoppage-time goal by El Salvador's Jaime Enrique Alas forced a 3-3 draw in the CONCACAF U-23 qualifying tournament....

Houston Dynamo's Colin Clark Calls Ball Boy A "Fuckin' Faggot," Offers Weak Apology
As noted earlier today on Dirty Tackle, Houston Dynamo winger Colin Clark is under fire for blowing up on a ball boy early in last night's match in Seattle. His apology (through Twitter) was of the typical "I didn't mean to disrespect anyone" variety and suggests Clark hasn't been exposed to those...

Peter Crouch Just Scored The Goal Of The Year In English Soccer
Peter Crouch's volley would be astounding in any context, but that it put Stoke up 1-0 on Manchester City makes it that much more a golazo. If Rooney's bicycle goal last season was its top score, Crouch's today is almost certainly that of the '11-'12 campaign. [Fox Soccer]...

Emile Heskey's Elbow Thoroughly Mangled Johan Djourou's Nose
Today's Arsenal-Aston Villa match from Ashburton Grove got off to a violent start as Gunners defender Johan Djourou took Emile Heskey's elbow straight to the beak—though Djourou was as much responsible for propelling his face into Heskey as much as anything. Despite spending several minutes down o...

Fabrice Muamba Was Alive And Cracking Jokes After Being "Dead" For 78 Minutes
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Manchester City's Ready To Embrace Carlos Tevez Again After His Assist Of Today's Winning Goal Against Chelsea
With a goal that delivered a mighty challenge to the soccer power structure in Manchester, Samir Nasri put City up 2-1 on Chelsea and helped produce a win that brought the squad a single point behind Manchester United at the top of the Barclays Premier League standings....

Watch All 234 Goals Leo Messi Scored To Break The Barcelona Record
It's sometimes easy to forget how good Leo Messi is. He performs extraordinary feats with such regularity they seem routine. Messi scores. Again. Messi dribbles through five defenders and scores. Again. Messi dribbles through five defenders, is hacked mercilessly, refuses to go down, dances around...

World's Dirtiest U-12 Soccer Player Arrested In Hong Kong After Kicking Opponent In Head
Last week, we told you about the precociously thugged-out behavior of a player (No. 2 in the video) on the ESF Lions U-12 team in Hong Kong. The 10-year-old ginger went on a fouling rampage against the Kitchee Escola team that culminated with an ugly boot to the face of a downed opponent (at 1:36)...

Gary Cahill Paid Tribute To Fabrice Muamba After Scoring In Today's FA Cup Match
In a reminder that the English footballing community is a tight one, Chelsea defender Gary Cahill paid tribute to his former Bolton teammate Fabrice Muamba after scoring the opening goal of the Blues' FA Cup tie with Leicester City with a "Pray 4 Muamba" t-shirt under his jersey....
![FA Cup Match Abandoned After Bolton's Fabrice Muamba Collapses Midgame [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
FA Cup Match Abandoned After Bolton's Fabrice Muamba Collapses Midgame [UPDATE]
Today's FA Cup clash between Tottenham Hotspur and Bolton Wanderers was suspended after Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba collapsed on the pitch and was given CPR in the first half of the match....

Mario Gomez Had A Messi-Like Four Goals In Yesterday's Champions League Match, But Says "I'm No Messi"
Bayern Munich's Mario Gomez snuffed out Swiss side Basel's underdog dreams in the UEFA Champions League with a four-goal performance yesterday (courtesy a lot of help from Franck Ribery). Coming so soon after Lionel Messi's five-goal CL spectacular, comparisons were inevitable. Nonsense, says Gom...

Polish U8 Soccer Match Abandoned After Fans Light Flares, Generally Go Nuts
Poland has a history of fans disrupting youth soccer games, for what we suspect are shits and giggles. Here's another one—undated, with no details, but at one point a fan is shown with the flag of FC Wągrowiec (apparently distinct from third-tier side Nielba Wągrowiec)....

Dirtiest U-12 Soccer Player In The World Discovered In Hong Kong
When an athlete realizes that he's reached the upper limits of his skill, he either accepts it and plays on. Or he learns to play dirty. Like the vicious ginger lad (No. 2) in this video, who was recently spotted in Hong Kong behaving like a human scythe. The boy commits several dirty fouls in the...

Nike Masters Science Behind Human Cloning, Wastes It On Brazilian Soccer Players
On the one hand, it's nice to see that Nike's Phil Knight, the 47th richest person in the world, has finally found an interesting way to spend his insane amount of cash. But if you were going to clone any group of people, would Brazilian soccer players really be near the top of the list? I can onl...