Soccer Page 362 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lionel Messi's Hat Trick-Finishing Goal Brought Announcer Ray Hudson To Orgasm
Barcelona spanked Málaga 4-1 today in La Liga, and the world's best soccer player Lionel Messi took over as Spain's leading scorer on the season with this hat trick-finishing goal. It sent commentator Ray Hudson into an even more over-the-top frenzy than usual, from his cats-mating shriek to his e...
<em>Corky Romano</em> And The Other Things Your Fox Affiliate Is Showing Instead Of Soccer
Fox is understandably proud of their experiment this morning to show English Premier League soccer live on U.S. broadcast TV for the first time. Yet it seems Fox affiliates aren't so excited, as 23 of Fox's 185 stations decided to air something else. Here's the list of cities where you can't see Ar...
Ricardo Clark's 97th-Minute Goal Gave The U.S. Their First Win Over A South American Team In Five Years
A 13-match winless streak against South American squads came to an end tonight when Ricardo Clark finally found net in the final moments of stoppage time of the United States' friendly against Venezuela....
Here's Clint Dempsey's Hat Trick Today, The First-Ever By An American In The English Premier League
Our own Luke O'Brien predicted in August a big season for American midfielder Clint Dempsey as he started his sixth season playing for Fulham in the EPL, and the past two weeks have borne that prediction in a big way. Dempsey followed his FA Cup hat trick two weeks ago with another today against ...
Deadspin's Better-Late-Than-Never Guide To The English Premier League
Illustration by Matthew Craven. Lots more on his website....
FIFA Mandates World Cup Drunkenness
At long last, we've identified the one cause FIFA will fight for: The right to sell their sponsors' beer....
20,000 Screaming Children Watch A Soccer Match
The last time AZ Alkmaar came to town, an Ajax fan attacked their keeper. AZ was pulled off the field, and the Dutch FA later declared the game a wash. Today was the replay, but due to the Netherlands' — and specifically's Ajax's — problems with ultras, the match was supposed to be played in an empt...
Adidas Won't Re-Up Sponsorship Deal With Liverpool Because They're Losers
With a six-year, $18.5 million sponsorship deal coming to an end, everyone expected Liverpool to sign a new contract with Adidas, which has supplied the Reds since 1985. But Adidas was having none of it, claiming the numbers Liverpool asked for would be more in line with a club that has a few trophi...
Fernando Torres Gets Cuckolded, And Other Videos Of Note From Last Weekend's Premier League Action
As NFL football winds down, are you ready for some ... EPL football? From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. These won't necessarily be goal videos. These may not even be highlights. These will merely be momen...
Messi Had A Hand In Barça's 2-1 Win Over Real Madrid—A Hand That Pepe Stepped On
Despite Cristiano Ronaldo's opening goal, Barcelona claimed the first leg of their Copa del Rey quarterfinal against Real Madrid on a Eric Abidal goal set up by Lionel Messi—a goal that came ten minutes after Real's Pepe stomped on Messi's hand in an act that sent commentator Ray Hudson into apop...
The Banned Boca Raton Women's Professional Soccer Team Will Keep Playing In Zombie Form
Women's Professional Soccer's year-long battle with its ultimate nemesis, magicJack owner and giant motor-tricycle aficionado Dan Borislow, has finally come to a close. WPS may have escaped extinction last month, but they can't escape Dan Borislow....
Cristiano Ronaldo Went Five-Hole And Drew First Blood In <em>El Clásico</em>
It's a Copa del Rey quarterfinal matchup between Real Madrid and Barcelona, one on which Cristiano Ronaldo made an early mark with this nifty goal between the legs of Barça's José Manuel Pinto. [GOLTV]...
Robbie Findley Missed An Open Net From Two Yards Out
He didn't even come particularly close, either. The US national and Nottingham Forest striker will be rueing this one, from the first half of today's FA Cup replay at Leicester City....
Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Balotelli showed up unannounced at a Manchester school, where he asked students if there was a bathroom he could use. [via Dirty Tackle]...
Spanish Goalkeeper Allows Four Goals In Six Minutes, Saves Best Fail For Last
Enaut Zubikarai, the goalkeeper for Real Sociedad, had a very terrible Tuesday evening. Playing in the Copa del Rey's round of 16, Zubikarai allowed Mallorca to score six goals in the first 60 minutes, and Real Sociedad lost, 6-1. This particular moment of utter failure was Mallorca's fourth goal ...
This Portuguese Soccer Highlight Is Brought To You By Some Guy Named Artur
As you already know, Sporting Braga bested Beira-Mar 2-1 on the Portuguese pitch yesterday. It would have been 2-0, however, had Artur not concocted this sweet lil shot before halftime, his third in a 14-game-old season. Hate to think of how the Beira-Mar home crowd would've taken to a shutout....
Thierry Henry Scored For Arsenal In His Homecoming Match To Put Them Up 1-0 On Leeds
Call it a fairytale, call it destiny, don't call it offside (which he was, most definitely) but Thierry Henry scoring for Arsenal—where he scored a club-record 226 goals between 1999 and 2007—is a story from the pages of British pulp fiction. That he scored the deciding goal in the Gunners' FA Cu...
The "Respect United" Soccer Tournament Was Canceled After Fans Brawled With Riot Police
Fans of the German indoor soccer team St. Pauli—perhaps after imbibing too many of a beverage hawked by local Fräuleins—brawled with spectators and Hamburg police, bringing a premature end to the Schweinske Cup tournament....
One Of The Best Strikes You'll See All Season Just Put Tiny Macclesfield Town Up On Bolton
It's been a bad week for Bolton goalkeeper Ádám Bogdán. First he let Tim Howard score on him and now he's been victimized by this ridiculous strike off the boot of League Two Macclesfield Town's Arnaud Mendy in FA Cup action. It's 2-1 in Macclesfield 2-2 now after Bolton just equalized. Macclesfie...
Liverpool: Still A Bit Racist
Did Anfield learn nothing from Luis Suarez's ban? Two Liverpool supporters (both wearing Suarez jerseys) yelled racial taunts at Oldham's Tom Adeyemi during today's FA Cup match. The game was interrupted as the fans were removed, and at least one of them has been arrested. [Mirror Football, Guardian...