Soccer Page 370 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Facekicker 2: The Kickening
Standard Liege midfielder Mehdi Carcela is in the hospital with a concussion and facial fractures, after being kicked in the face in the Belgian league playoffs. It was accidental, as most soccer highlights are, but still scary. Which doesn't mean you shouldn't mentally add the "Boom! Headshot!" a...
West Ham Can't Even Keep Its Hooligans Out Of The Team's Year-End Banquet
West Ham United threw itself a little end-of-season awards banquet on Monday night in London (to celebrate, ostensibly, West Ham's relegation after finishing last in the Premier League). Some of the team's fans attended the banquet, which turned out to be a very bad idea indeed:...
Cruz Azul Fan Tries To Shake Hands With Cruz Azul Player, Starts Massive Brawl, Is Rescued By Other Team
Just shake the guy's hand and have a laugh. You don't need to knock him down and kick him. Because that would make any proud fan upset. Here's the play-by-play: A Cruz Azul fan takes the field after his team goes down by three goals. He approaches Gerrardo Torrado with sarcastic salutations. Torra...
Ronaldinho's Website Subjected To Only Known Bin Laden/Jar Jar Binks-Themed Hack Ever
On Friday, Ronaldinho's agent realized that the Flamengo star's personal website had been hacked, and that probably all eight visitors to the site that day had seen the offensive adjustments: Ronaldinho, paired with photos of Jar Jar Binks and Osama bin Laden. The hacker, "TeRoRisTe_Mc," is apparent...
Watch Cristiano Ronaldo Tie The Spanish League Goal Scoring Record
After knocking in these two free kicks against Villarreal yesterday, Ronaldo upped his goal tally to 38 on the season, tying the record set by Athletic Bilbao's Telmo Zarra in 1951 and matched in 1990 by Real Madrid's Mexican striker Hugo Sanchez. Ronaldo also opened up a 14-point lead in the Gold...
When AC Milan Won The Italian Soccer Title, A Player Paid Homage To Michael Jackson
First, it was a hideous statue outside English Premier League team Fulham's stadium. Now, Michael Jackson continues exerting posthumous control over the living world of soccer; this time, Kevin Prince Boateng of AC Milan did a damn good impression as AC Milan celebrated winning the Scudetto (aka S...
Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....
Lionel Messi Got A Stern Talking-To For Breaking An Airplane Wall (With Video)
It's all fun and games until a bunch of dudes celebrating their La Liga title on a plane take it one step too far. Specifically, hitting the wall of said plane so hard that a panel near the emergency exit falls off. Even more specifically, when the person doing the hitting is Lionel Messi of F.C. B...
Presenting Manchester City's FA Cup Winning Goal
A blistering strike by Yaya Toure (aka Toure Yaya) which got past Stoke City goalkeeper Thomas Sorensen in the 74th minute of today's FA Cup final won Manchester City its first trophy in 35 years. They were happy....
Sepp Blatter Says FIFA Will "Be Sucked Into A Black Hole" If Sepp Blatter Is Not Reelected FIFA President
Sepp Blatter, the international dictator disguised as FIFA president, wrote a letter to Italy's La Gazzetta dello Sport this week to warn the world that a failure to reelect him to a fourth term on the June 1 vote "could cause a tectonic movement with irreversible damage." Let's defer to him to set ...
Goalkeeper Gets His Angles Completely Right To Fool Striker
Quite what the goalkeeper in this clip was up to is anybody's guess — but it seemed to work. The La Paz stopper is so wrong he's right as he forces San Jose striker Maxi Andrade to smash the ball into the post....
Man U Manager Alex Ferguson Charged With Earnestly Complimenting A Referee
Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United who recently served a five-game suspension and paid a £30,000 fine for criticizing a referee after a 2-1 loss in March, has once again been charged with improper conduct for publicly speaking about a referee....
Your Daily Update About Horrible Scottish-Soccer Fans
Remember yesterday when a Heart of Midlothian fan wearing a Yankees hat decided to take a running swing at Celtic manager Neil Lennon?...
MLS Rivalry That No One Cares About Takes To The Highway
Billboards! We love billboards. Love it when someone has something so important to say, they can't afford to run the risk of not telling a passing motorist....
Here's Video Of A Scottish Soccer Fan Attacking A Scottish Soccer Manager Earlier Today
With a 3-0 win over Heart of Midlothian (aka Hearts) at Tynecastle Stadium in Edinburgh, Scotland, Celtic moved to within one point of Rangers for the Scottish Premier League title. But, here's the real story:...
Luke Rodgers Will Burn Off Your Face, Landon Donovan
Petchesky alerted you this morning to the minor dust-up between Landon Donovan and new Red Bulls striker Luke Rodgers, in which the Englishman called the Yank a (genitalia)head. Donovan may very well act like an entitled whinger but Rodgers should hardly be chucking stones when calling people a dick...
Try To Look Surprised: England Says World Cup Voters Asked For Bribes
Ever since the good, godfearing Anglo nations were shut out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, rumors have flown that Russia and Qatar bribed their way to the top. No one would be surprised because it's FIFA, but it was also sour grapes. And maybe it still is, but this time England is naming names....
Turkish Soccer Fans Injure 25 Police Officers Rather Than Let Visiting Fans Into Their Stadium
No, this is not footage of a coup d'état in Turkey, this is footage of the violence that broke out between soccer fans before the Bursaspor-Beşiktaş game this past Saturday. The Turkish Football Federation had to cancel the game after angry fans rioted, injuring 25 policemen....
MLS Salaries Make No Secret Of MLS Plan To Create NY-LA Rivalry
In MLS Commissioner Don Garber's perfect world, the two biggest markets in the country would have the two best teams. These teams would, of course, be the New York Red Bulls and the LA Galaxy. They would be better than the other teams but not so much better that fans in smaller markets would give up...
Is This The Ultimate Insult To A Rival Team?
Your hated geographic rivals are suffering one of the worst humiliations in their 130-year history. What's a devoted fan who takes pleasure from the misery of others to do? Fly a goddamn airplane banner over their stadium....