Soccer Page 377 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wayne Rooney Curses And The World Heaves
Shrek got angry after scoring a hat trick against West Ham last Saturday and spat a few acrid words into the camera. Now Shrek will lose 250,000 squid and miss an FA Cup semifinal because some asinine arbiters of morality in sports have decided there's no cursing on the pitch....
This Swedish Kid Sets The Standard For The Back-Flip Penalty Kick
In a game between FC Baar and FC Sempach, two youth clubs in Sweden, Baar's Joonas Jokinen debuted the back-flip penalty kick. We're quite certain this has never been done in a game before. A few places have referred to this as a "somersault" kick; we'll give young Joonas the credit he deserves....
LeBron James Gets Stake In Liverpool, Joins Unofficial Club For The Filthy Rich
LeBron James is smiling because even after an embarrassing hour-long ESPN special this summer that maligned him to the majority of humans not residing in South Beach, and even after his hometown fans burned his Cleveland jerseys and turned his name into a curse word, and even after his new team face...
Watch Dejan Stankovic Air Out A Goal From Midfield
Inter Milan's Dejan Stankovic scored a goal just 20 seconds into a Champions League game against Schalke last night in Milan. More accurately, Stankovic fluidly picked the ball out of the air from midfield and sent it searing past Schalke goalkeeper Manuel Neuer with one touch. From fifty meters o...
Muppet Goalie Lawsuit? Muppet Goalie Lawsuit
Arsenal's Jens Lehmann is suing fellow goalie Tim Wiese of Werder Bremen for telling media Lehmann should "go to the Muppet Show" back in September. He's seeking $28,000....
Wayne Rooney Scored A Hat Trick, Swore In Celebration, Got A Two-Match Ban
Premier League justice is worse than Sheriff Goodell's....
This Nine-Year-Old Kid Might Well Be The World's Next Greatest Soccer Player
This lad, who has yet to be publicly identified, is being called "The Japanese Messi." For good reason. The kid's got footwork, pace and panache to the point where the guy who coached "The Real Messi" as a youth has linked to this clip via Twitter. Or, it could just be a farce, which would be sad....
Here's A Textbook Soccer-Ball-To-Child's-Head Video
This is apparently a couple months old, but it's new to us, and it's a Friday afternoon. Enjoy your CTE, kid....
Fourth Official Holds Up A Massive Electrical Condom
Looking very much like Leslie Nielsen did in that Naked Gun scene when he thrusts a giant Johnny over his head to do the nasty with Elvis's ex, here's a Thai official holding up his Durex-sponsored extra-time board....
Weeklong Ochocinco/MLS Publicity Stunt Culminates In Predictable Publicity Stunt
We honestly love Chad Ochocinco without reserve. He's like if a little kid wished to the Big fortune teller machine to be a pro athlete, and got it. His actions seem genuine, so we weren't as turned off as a lot of people by his experiment with Sporting KC, to see if he still had his soccer skills f...
Watch 16-Year-Old Indi Cowie Juggle A Soccer Ball Better Than The Boys
This week, the New York Times Magazine has the classic story about the quiet, anonymous Scottish-American high school sophomore girl who happens to be one of the best freestyle soccer players in the world. Stop me if you've heard this one before....
Dennis Rommedahl Scores An Absolute Rocket
It may have escaped your attention, what with Wales and England's titanic battle at the Millennium Stadium being so tight and tense, but Norway played Denmark at the weekend and the score finished 1-1. BOOORING!...
Dead Man Attends Soccer Game
You, as an American, are now even rarer for not liking soccer. While you previously only had to contend with billions of people on the planet, they can now count the dead among their number....
The Best Soccer Player On Earth Will Likely Embarrass The Americans At Some Point Tonight
There's a scene in Vision Quest in which Louden Swain's boss Elmo gets to talking about why he took the night off of work, sans pay, to watch Louden wrestle the mighty Gary Shute. He got to talking about Pele....
Watch Old Zinedine Zidane Abuse A Young Goalie
The Magician will be doing this until he's 80. Class. Pure class. I like how after Zidane finishes toying with this poor lad at some recent Adidas event, he goes over to see if the kid will ever recover....
Soccer Match On Field Surrounded By Barbed Wire Unpredictably Marred By "Absurd Violence"
To some, this may look like referee Augusto Vego getting attacked by unhappy Río Segundo players in their lower-tier Argentine match with Sportivo Club....
Qataris Develop Artificial Cloud To Keep Pitch Cool During World Cup
Qatar 2022 will undoubtedly see at least 15 times more pissing and moaning than we had to endure during the South African World Cup last year, but if even half the technology proposed for the games comes to light, it'll remain a fantastic spectacle....
So, Who’s Gonna Get Relegated From The Premier League?
The top of the Premier League ain't that exciting. Arsenal will fall away, Chelsea will come back into it and push Man Utd for a bit before dropping out to leave Fergie and his phone to win it with two games to spare....
Goalkeeper Misses The Ball, Knees Opposing Player Directly In The Face
In Ukranian professional soccer action on Sunday, Volyn keeper Vitaliy Nedilko tried to collect a loose ball and instead collided directly with Luiz Adriano's face. To those who say soccer isn't a contact sport: it is when player's noses are crushed inside their faces, okay? Adriano's squad, Shakh...
Canadian Hero Steve Nash Pumps Up Fellow Canadians At Canadian MLS Game
Steve Nash attended the Vancouver Whitecaps' first regular season game this weekend and, almost on his own, totally pumped up the crowd. The part-owner stands up in a personalized MLS jersey and waves a scarf back and forth, to the utter delight his countrymen. If inspiring the home crowd was Nash...