Soccer Page 380 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Real Madrid And Barcelona Could Provide The Best Soccer Game On Earth Tomorrow
It's a waste of time to try and convince soccer haters of the excellence that tomorrow's el Clasico between Ronaldo's Real Madrid and Messi's Barcelona potentially offers. It's also unnecessary to remind fans of the 2:55-ish p.m. EST start....

Unfortunately, Not Everyone Likes Lionel Messi
With his hilarious Monkees hair cut and preposterous skills, you'd think that everyone would adore Messi. Not so this tough guy Fonz impersonator. Ouch....

Real Madrid Two Get Sent Off On Purpose
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Goalkeeper Gaffes Happen In Any Weather
From the lower levels of Brazilian soccer comes this poor fellow badly misjudging a ball through the rain and wind. He still might not know it went in. [h/t The Spoiler]...

Gareth Bale Could Be As Good As Lionel Messi, Drools Brian Flynn
It's always a sign that you've made it as a footballer when an emotional European teenager makes a Youtube compilation dedicated to your finest moments, featuring either Nickelback, a defiant Eminem number, or something thrilling and operatic as the soundtrack....

Man Bijt Man: Luis Suarez Has A Mike Tyson Moment
If you thought Samuel Eto’o’s headbutt was the most ridiculous moment of severe misbehavior in soccer this weekend, you were wrong. Ajax’s Luis Suarez bitting PSV Eindhoven’s Otman Bakkal was far more bizarre....

Samuel Eto’o Gets All Zinedine Zidane About It
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff. ...

Bebe Scores A Couple Of Beauties For United (Reserves)
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Lionel Messi Scores Another Rather Nice Goal
Just once, it'd be nice to see little Lionel Messi score a clumsy goal. Perhaps he could charge down a goal kick with his groin and miss it going into the net because he's too busy shouting sweet Jesus to the heavens....

Tevez Fists Ferdinand — In Stunning High Definition
The Picture of the Millennium brought to life in glorious HD....

Today In Horrifying Mascot Unveilings
Poland and Ukraine, cohosts for the 2012 European Football Championship, unveiled their mascots today. Take a glance now, and study them at leisure when they come to you later tonight, in your dreams. Standing over you. Staring....

Unbelievable Miss Just Reinforces That There's No Scoring In Soccer
Quarterfinals of the Asian Games, stoppage time, and Qatar's Fahad Khalfan has naught but 24 feet of twine between him and victory. Doink. Uzbekistan would win in extra time....

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Kicking Spree Ends With Marco Materazzi Being Hospitalized
We warned you this would happen. Since giving Rodney Strasser a shoeing in training, old Zlatan has grown a worrying taste for showcasing his mad Taekwondo skillz at the most inappropriate moments....

It Looks Like Soccer Player Rio Ferdinand Got Stone-Cold Fisted The Other Day
I shudder to even post this, as the nil-nil Man U vs. Man City match from earlier in the week should produce triple-digit variations of the "Me hate soccer; they no score a lot" line....

Massive Girl Fight Breaks Out At Soccer Game
This brawl at a women's soccer game has the folks at Unprofessional Foul absolutely flummoxed. Who are they? Why are they fighting? One thing is for sure: these women are absolutely pissed at each other....

Ezequiel Lavezzi Channels The Spirit Of Ketsbaia, Somersaults Into The Advertising Boards
Ninety-fourth-minute winners are always likely to give birth to some unique celebrations. Ezequiel Lavezzi's kamikaze assault on the advertising boards during the Napoli/Cagliari clash on Wednesday didn't disappoint, showing shades of Temuri Ketsbaia's half-naked rampage at St. James Park in '98....

Chinese Keeper Wang Dalei Savages Fans In Internet Post: "You Bunch Of Morons"
Chinese international goalkeeper Wang Dalei (or "Big Thunder") has been suspended indefinitely by the Chinese FA after laying into the country's fans following a 3-0 whooping by Japan in an Asian Games group match on Monday....

Bayer Leverkusen’s Sidney Sam Scores An Absolute Pearler
And Sidney's wasn't even the best name on show in Leverkusen's 3-1 win over Kaiserslautern on Sunday — this crack canceled out an opener from defender Florian Dick....

A Very Painful Own Goal
From the lower levels of Irish soccer comes the double-whammy: an own-goal, and the braining of a teammate....

Arsene Wenger Responds To Allegations Of Affair With French Rapper Sonia Tatar
Arsene Wenger has released a statement addressing allegations published in the The Sun this morning that the 61-year-old Arsenal manager has been having a two year affair with "glamorous French rap star" Sonia Tatar, 39....