Soccer Page 386 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lady Footballer In Humiliating Handball Mix Up!
As embarrassing mistakes go, this one is up there with accidentally calling your teacher "Mummy", or unknowingly leaving your flies open during a bumpy bus journey....
Humiliating Goal Miss Alert: Rui Miguel Edition
Everyone's been there - just you and the goal, the ball floating in. Man, you could pelvic thrust it in if you really wanted to....
Startling Penalty Miss Alert: Spanish Second Division Edition
Mind doctors will tell you that the key to a decent penalty is a technique called "positive visualisation". Mehmet Aurelio is not at the forefront of this practice....
Artful Shevchenko Pickpockets A Football Reporter
Chancers, grifters and terrifying mobs of tiny vagrant children have got this one down to a fine art — simply distract your victim by doing a funny little dance, whilst your robbing partner deftly rifles through his/her pockets looking for loot....
Frank Lampard Humiliated By A Cartoon Character
It's a particularly sad day for Frankie Lamps, with news (in The Sun) that a great big pile of golden iPods emblazoned with his extravagant autograph have been "melted down" and replaced with a popular Japanese cartoon character, called Hello Kitty....
Young Man United Lad Scores A Really Lovely Goal
Tom Cleverley: remember the name. He scored a goal in the match against the MLS All Stars, which would be described in America as "awesome", or "win!", or "neat", or "rad"....
A Short Video Tribute To Diego Maradona, The Manager
As mentioned yesterday, the World Cup 2010 will be remembered for three things - vuvuzelas, a terrible match ball, and Larissa Riquelme's mobile phone deftly positioned between her enormous bosoms. But one thing was glaringly left out—Diego Maradona....
Real Madrid Man Announces Liverpool Move On Facebook (UPDATE: It's A Hoax!)
Of course, in the parallel universe known as "cyberspace" there are no secrets, so whilst Liverpool appear to be keeping schtum on any recent transfer activity, the Dutchman Royston Drenthe thought he'd throw caution to the wind, and announce his new job to his Facebook "friends". ...
Soccer Team Has Perfected The Art Of The Goal Celebration
Scores are rare; celebrate them. This Icelandic team does, in a choreographed routine that puts "run around with your shirt pulled over your head" to shame. But, as past videos show, the team has a history of Tony-worthy theatrical exuberance....
Classy Penalty Causes Something Of An Internet Stir
Without deliberately attempting to garner any sympathy, the internet is a tough place to work — chiefly because you have to compete with nakedness, love makers, and bustling online auction houses before you can get your own tiny slice of the action....
France Comes Up With Highly Symbolic, Largely Ineffective Punishment For World Cup Players
New France coach Laurent Blanc will drop all 23 World Cup players from the team (if only for one game), as punishment for their mini-strike. It should be interesting, as France's U21 side probably could have beaten that World Cup squad. [AP]...
Cancel Christmas, Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't Getting Married!
At least twenty minutes this morning have been spent scooping oozing chunks of warm egg from The Spoiler's face. Not an embarrassing breakfast mishap, you understand, but a clever metaphor....
The Truth About John Terry And Steven Gerrard Revealed
As pointed out many times, The Spoiler is very well connected, with a mob of secret squirrels all over the country, listening through boardroom walls with mini-pint jugs pressed to their ears, smoking endless cigarellos....
Manchester United Jerseys Banned For Promoting Satanism
Forbes may have named Man U the most valuable franchise in sports, but they'll be getting a few less Malaysian ringgit. Muslim clerics have banned Man U jerseys in Malaysia because of their Red Devil crest....
How About A Little Coach-On-Reporter Violence?
National legend and current Brazil club coach Emerson Leao got into it with a radio reporter after a draw(not even a loss!) last night. Three of his players then got into it, punching the reporter twice. A police investigation is ongoing....
Ooh, Ooh: Cristiano Ronaldo Is Getting Married!
Frankly, thank Christ for Facebook — without it, Cristiano Ronaldo's life might maintain an element of mystique, but then everyone would be bored....
Dumb TV People Interview Thierry Henry, Remind America Why It Can't Have Nice Soccer Things
Click to viewThe newly minted New York Red Bull visited the set of Fox 5's morning show, Chirpy Morons Sit on Sofa and Talk About Vitamins, and submitted to a whole host of indignities. Watch, if you can. [MLS Talk, via @GrantWahl]...
The 10 Most Enthralling Transfer Stories Of The Summer
Make no mistake about it, the next couple of months are going to become transfer bonkers. With that in mind, after the jump, you'll find some of the biggest stories of the summer. Potentially. ...
Angry Footballer Attempts To Strangle The Ref
It's not easy being a ref, especially when a player attempts a WWE "sleeper hold" to stop you from producing a red card. It makes you wonder, had the ref passed out as intended, would Pedrozo have casually stayed on the pitch?...
Here's Video Of All The World Cup Red Cards Set To A Snappy Tune
If you enjoyed our previous montage, let this one act as a palate cleanser. Hand balls, flopping, cleat attacks — enjoy the best in red-card-worthy World Cup cheating. [Dirty Tackle]...