Soccer Page 390 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Balaclava-Clad Man United Mob Lays Siege To Wayne Rooney’s House, Makes Death Threats
The following is a special presentation of The Spoiler. Wayne Rooney signed a new deal with Manchester United today, however, news of what transpired last night is juicy, funny, a little frightening, and could hold the reason for his change of heart....

Peruvian Soccer Players Faint After Being Drugged By Rivals During Game
During a match for promotion to the top tier of Peruvian soccer, one team handed the other "energy drinks." How friendly. Four players collapsed, and the drinks turned out to contain tranquilizers....

Gareth Bale Can Still Beat Inter Milan On The Aggregate
Elderly midfielder Javier Zanetti became the oldest goalscorer in Champions League history when he opened proceedings after just two minutes, and Spurs found themselves 3-0 down within a quarter of an hour after keeper Gomes was sent off for bringing down Jonathan Biabany....

Most Metal Pilot Of All Time Flies Soccer Team To Italy
Iron Maiden's frontman Bruce Dickinson's a pilot—he even moonlights for an airline! I had no idea—but I didn't know there was an Iron Maiden plane either. What I do know: it's badass he flew Liverpool FC to Italy....

AC Milan-Real Madrid Match Interrupted With Fan On The Field Zaniness
Infamous pitch invader Jimmy Jump—not to be confused with the Laurence Fishburne chraracter from the Schooly D-heavy King of New York—claimed another scalp last night during the titanic clash between AC Milan and Real Madrid in the Champions League....

Backheel Goal Scorer Returns With More Fancy Goal Scorin'
Another all-worldie from Irish striker Matty Burrows of Glentoran FC. The terrible goalkeeping sort of takes the shine off this one, though....

Coach Would Rather Players Sleep Around Than Drink After Games
Roberto Mancini has made Eastlands the new preferred destination for football's top womanizers, after ordering his Manchester City players to put down their pint glasses and instead wrap their hands around a nice pert boob....

Here's Video Of A Goalkeeper Scoring A Game-Tying Goal In Stoppage Time
Fundamentally, the goal William Hesmer scored in yesterday's Columbus Crew/Toronto FC match wasn't anything special. What was special is that the Crew's keeper registered only the second goalie-goal in MLS history. Also, there were playoff ramifications ......

Soccer Team Signs 11-Year-Old
Premier League champeens Chelsea have negotiated a £10,000 + add-ons deal to sign an 11-year-old striker from League Two club Northampton Town....

Police Find Serbia’s Infamous Masked Hooligan Hiding In Bus Luggage Compartment
By now we're sure you've already seen video of the hooligan-inspired trouble which forced Tuesday's Euro 2012 qualifier between Italy and Serbia to be called off after 7 minutes....

Lionel Messi’s Goals Look Just As Good Written Down
Here's the original version if you like your words to come with moving pictures....

Scary, Ski-Masked Serbian Homophobes Disrupt Euro Cup Qualifier
Tuesday's Italy-Serbia Euro qualifier was called before it began when rioters, protesting the Serbian government's offer to protect a gay pride parade, burned flags, lit flares, and did other rioty things. [SB Nation]...

Man Gets Full Football Jersey Tattoo To Honor Team Icon
The poor bastard in the chair is Felipe Alvarez, an Atletico Nacional supporter who has decided to pay homage to murdered club legend Andres Escobar by having a replica Atletico shirt tattooed across his torso, complete with Escobar's number on the back....

Montenegro Striker Loses His Shorts In Goal Celebration
Montenegro met Switzerland in Euro 2012 qualifying on Friday with Roma striker Mirko Vucinic scoring the only goal of the game, a dinked 68' finish....

Today In Neo-Nazi Youth Sports News...
Any story that describes its protagonist and/or antagonist as a "52-year-old who sports an Adolf Hitler-style moustache and a mullet" and "master chimney sweep," but isn't about pre-haircut Bill Cowher, is worthy of closer inspection....

An Open Letter To Soccer Player Charlie Davies (With Afternoon Update)
Charlie, What the fuck are you doing? Listen, more than most people, I get how surviving near-death incidents involving cars can change a person. It makes you grateful each morning when you wake up....

Liverpool FC Chairman Admires Winning Attitude Of The Boston Rod Sex
*Consults Freud textbooks*...

Soccer Refs Are The New Windowless Van
Police are on the lookout for a man dressed as a soccer ref—but not actually one—who attempted to get young girls to "go with him." Let's get Koman Coulibaly, just to be safe. [WPVI]...

Teammate: Wayne Rooney Is "Working Class" And "Vulgar"
While most of us can't wait for this international break to be over, Man United's Federico Macheda will be hoping time goes really slowly while he's away with Italy's U21 squad, after making an "ill-advised" comment about his willy-swinging teammate Wayne Rooney....

This Backheel Goal Is The Best Goal You'll See Today
Our mates over at Off the Post have escalated the The Great Backheel War of 2010 by posting this piece of brilliance from Glentoran's Matty Burrows....