Soccer Page 404 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Slumping Team Tries New Motivational Tactic: Guns
When a reader sends you a tip with the subject line "More dysfunctional team than the Mets," you have to open it. So of course the story involves a soccer team's executives threatening the players with guns after a loss....
West Ham And Millwall Bringing Back Old School Hooliganism
If you're one of those people who thinks that soccer exists only to support bottle-throwing riots, you're not alone. Supporters of rival London clubs were apparently way more interested in stabbing each other than watching their last game....
What Soccer Needs Is More Kicks To The Face
Bolivian soccer has it figured out. When an opposing player elbows you during a fight for the ball, don't take a wailing, overdramatic dive. Just wait until halftime and then give him a flying boot to the head....
Return Of the Deadspin Pub
The pub reopens on the heels of Jozy Altidore's inspired Premier League debut in the season's second weekend. Read on for yesterday's results and today's featured match, the West London derby between Chelsea and Fulham....
Punching A Crippled Child Will Not Get Your Soccer Ball Back
A 23-year-old woman in a dispute over a soccer ball with a wheelchair-bound 13-year-old boy at a children's hospital, slugged him right in the medical halo that was screwed into his skull. That's at least a yellow card, right? [DMN]...
Landon Donovan Has Swine Flu
And no, he didn't get it from being showered in urine and vomit by Mexican fans. But here's your excuse for yesterday's match result, Sam's Army. [FanNation]...
Viewers Pissy Over Bathroom Scene Interrupting Soccer Highlights
BBC1 debuted their new Football League highlight programme this weekend, and new shows can have their share of glitches. But everything was going smoothly, audio and graphics were working perfectly, until...BAM! Blonde on a toilet!...
Your U.S.A. vs. Mexico Open Live Thread Thingy
Fire up, gringos! It's like the original Mexican-American War, only with less malaria. The winner gets to punch Lou Dobbs in the face; loser gets to keep Texas. Olé your brains out in comments....
Isn't Anyone Here Even Hard Of Hearing?
When Ghana sent a deaf soccer team to Australia, they neglected to actually send any deaf people. But it's not cheating, because the Aussies' deaf soccer team included only three hearing-impaired players!...
Why Don't You Monsters Love David Beckham?
Lord David "Becks" "Posh Spice" "Footy" Beckhamtonshire, Third Earl of Harewood, moved to America to be our Michael Jordan of Soccer. But he failed. The Times asks: why don't Americans love people who do things only British people care about?...
American Sports Need More PowerPoint Presentations
Michael Owen—remember the "Michael Jordan of soccer" talk?—put together a 32-page brochure about his accomplishments and handsomeness to try and convince teams to give him a contract. Nothing says "dangerous goal scorer" quite like bar graphs! [DailyMirror/Decleater]...
Someone Forgot To Tell This Owner His Soccer Team Was Up For Sale On eBay
When the owner of an English soccer team wanted to sell the franchise, he turned to a US firm to set up the deal. When that firm wanted to locate a buyer, they turned to...eBay? *recordscratch.wav*...
World-Class Athlete Requires Liposuction To Stay Fit
Aging Brazilian legend Ronaldo went to the hospital for a broken wrist and had doctors throw a liposuction on the bill. How do you expect a guy to work out when he's busy playing all that soccer? [The Spoiler]...
David Beckham's Hecklers Not So Tough After All
David Beckham had another run-in with fans—with the notoriously nasty Kansas City soccer scene—but the where and why is not really important. What is important, is that fans need to do a better job managing their smack talk....
Fan Who Charged Beckham Feels Wrath Of Home Depot
The L.A. Galaxy fan who leapt out of the stands to answer David Beckham's challenge may face a fate worth than jail or death—a lifetime ban from the Home Depot Center. Even for the Vans Warped Tour?...
When Sports Widows Get Stabby
In America, if you stay out too late at the sports bar, your wife makes you sleep on the couch. In Malaysia, she stabs you in the chest. [The Star]...
Small Child No Good At Sports, Cries; By The Way, He's In The Pros
Mauricio Baldivieso turns 13 tomorrow. As an early birthday present, his coach got him into the game for a first-division Bolivian soccer side. Did we mention the coach is his father?...
Beckham Experiment Descends Into Fear And Loathing, Lesson In The Subjectivity Of Perception
Beckham played his first home game back with the Galaxy yesterday, and things got ugly. Either a fan nearly attacked him (per the U.S. press), or he nearly attacked a fan (per the Brits). It's like Rashomon in shinguards!...
BK-Sponsored Soccer Kit Will Make You Cry
OK, it's pretty bad to watch Beckham jog around in his Galaxy Herbalife jersey. But things could be worse. They could be much, much worse....
Now We'll Take You Seriously, Lady Soccer
With the top 3 goalies injured or away on national team duty, WPS's Washington Freedom taps coach to play goalie. They win by shutout, of course. [WaPo]...