Soccer Page 409 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

British Soccer: Like A Sunny, Fun Day At Disneyland
So which is more distasteful, sports fans?: Mocking plane crash victims, or wishing someone dead from a car wreck? Don't worry, it's British soccer. You can have both!...

The Deadspin Pub: Help Yourself (Because I Sure Can't)
By request: Soccer hooligans may commiserate in here. I'm told Chelsea and Manchester United are playing right now, which sounds important, but what do I know?...

Small Middle Eastern Nation Terrorized By Bus Shenanigans
Bayern Munich soccer star Franck Ribery is a devout Muslim, but I'm not sure where in the Koran it says you're allowed to take the team bus for a joyride and smash into stuff....

Spanish Soccer Star Would Like To Show You His Pimp Ring
Real Madrid's Sergio Ramos is here to remind all you kids out there that yes, racism is cruel and unfair, but it can also be fun!...

Yeah, Give Him A Red Card. I Dare You
Ha, watch closely; about two minutes in, even the bull realizes that soccer is a dull game, and stops charging. He's thinking "getting maimed with swords is better than watching this."...

Ultimately, Tis Greed That Foils All Soccer Jersey Thieves
So you're the head equipment manager of a Serie A team, and decide to steal a few jerseys to sell on the black market. Who's going to notice if you take four or five ... or 2,000?...

No Cause For Alarm; Beckham Is Totally In Shape
"But during a training session with AC Milan, where he is currently on loan from LA Galaxy, Beckham was left gasping for breath and even had to have his pulse checked by a concerned medic." [Mail Online]...

Choose Your Weapon: It's Time For Soccer
Soccer is different in Britain. Over there, you show me a red card, I go home and get my sword. Or chainsaw or whatever's handy....

The Deadspin Pub Crawls Out of the Holiday Gutter
In which we provide today's convenient excuse to drink alone at 8:30 in the morning....

He Should've Married Homeland Security Spice
Beckham under terrorist threat in Dubai; Alexi Lalas sought....

Soccer: Only The Manliest Of Men Need Apply
OK, so we've had a good time this month making fun of soccer. But do we really think soccer is gay? No way. And this video only reinforces that belief....

Liverpool and Arsenal Take Center Stage
Rafa Benitez's Scousers of Liverpool are in London this morning for a clash at Emirates Stadium against Arsene Wenger and his Arsenal side that is always up for a big match. The Gunners have wins this season over Manchester United and Chelsea, however they still remain 8 points back of Liverpool who...

The Pigeon Had It Coming
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

But We Have A Deal With The Pigeons!
Pigeon courageously stops shot from Argentina soccer star Gaston Aguirre. Quote: "I kicked the ball and, poor pigeon. Now I will be remembered as the pigeon killer." [Yahoo News]...

Maybe The Sprinklers Came On During The Match
Manchester United won't appeal the four-match ban against star Patrice Evra, levied for — get this — his fight with a groundskeeper. [Guardian.co.uk]...

Beckham Happens To Have The Kind Of Body That Excites Both Persuasions
I must admit that half the fun of this job is in reading the British tabloid headlines. Today's winner: AC Star: I'll Peek In Beck's Kecks....

Juve Beats Milan, Gets Dirty
Even if you don't particularly care for Italian soccer (raises hand) you can't deny the excitement of seeing Juventus winning a six goal affair over Milan. In a huge match that could go a long way to deciding which of these two sides will be able to challenge Inter for the league title. The Turin si...

The Deadspin Pub Heads Back to Spain
Once again the eyes of a soccer fans across the world will be on Spain as Barcelona and Real Madrid square off at Camp Nou in El Classico (Spanish for "huge fucking game")....

This Just In: Italian Soccer Steeped In Gayness
So big news recently if you're a fan of Italian soccer or gayness; a third-division player known only as 'Victory' has claimed that he has been paid for sex by 12 well-known Serie A stars, and that the encounters took place at the end of games in hotels and sometimes even in changing rooms....

Firing: Possible
Real Madrid fires coach Bernd Schuster after he publicly admits that it would be "impossible" for his team to beat rival Barcelona on Saturday. What ... was he wrong? [AP/Google]...